The Yoga Bag- Meet Zuri- You Are Right Where You Need to Be- 9/8/2013

The Yoga Bag- 

Meet Zuri- You Are Right Where You Need to Be

9/8/2013

The Story

Zuri is African for beautiful. That is her name. The girl. The girl who found the yoga bag.

Zuri is 13 years old. I can see her lying on her bed, belly down, knees bent, feet flexed, ankles crossed. She has propped herself up on the pillow to read. In her hands, the Yoga Notes. My notes from class. Each page is dated and titled, “Yoga Notes.”

I am compulsive like that. The rituals help me feel like there is order in life. Each time I prepare for a yoga class, I write, “Yoga Notes” and the date at the top of the page. Next, I read through the yoga sutras, the Gita, Melody Beatties’ Journey to the Heart. When I am preparing, I read and wait for the words to match my heart, what I am feeling.  Once that is established, I write out the flow, a Vinyasa flow.

I teach power yoga. It is a type of yoga meant to empower those who are practicing. It empowers me and I empower them. It is a process of mutual growth, support, and love. I write out the power flow, a sequence of postures that lands in the body and brings forth the best self. 

Zuri is looking at these pages.

She is just flipping through. School starts tomorrow and she’s nervous. Her mom didn’t buy her any school stuff. Her mom was out late all week or drinking in front of the TV. Zuri pleaded with her mom to get her school supplies, but her mom kept getting mad. Her brother hasn’t been home in days. Desperate she grabbed the bag from under bed. She thought maybe there was a pen or an empty notebook in there. Ah, she found one, a notebook. This one, half full. Half full of Yoga Notes.

She stops flipping as a page catches her eye. It is the page that leads with the quote, “You are where you need to be. Maybe you have been there all along” Melody Beattie.

Zuri doesn’t get it. How can that be? She is supposed to be here, like this, the day before school. I see her close the book and cry. She wonders, “Why would this be where I am supposed to be?”

The Process

Isn’t that the way it is? That is our practice. To keep coming back to the full-on acceptance of this-is-where-I-am. That this is where I am meant to be. 

Sometimes it hurts to be here, where we are. Nevertheless, we are here. We can escape. Many do. We could drink, take painkillers, watch three movies in a row, argue with someone we love. Truth is, we are still here. In all of these scenarios, we are here and now we are here and suffering. On top of the pain we already have, we are suffering. 

Truth is we are meant to feel it, breathe it, process it, and hold it. We are meant to be right here, right now. I don’t like it. Zuri doesn’t like. We don’t like to feel uncomfortable, none of us. Yet, it is in the discomfort that we get it. We get what we need to take the next step. I am not sure what Zuri is going to do next. She seems sad right now and I think that is what she needs to be and feel. When your mom is not okay, you need to feel it, all of it. If that means crying, so be it.

I know Zuri and I will get up tomorrow and go to school. Zuri will go to the eighth grade and I will to the university and we will both be okay. We won’t be hung over, or addicted to painkillers. We won’t have three movies under our belts and we won’t have challenged our relationships in service of our emotional avoidance. 

We will both be fully aware of what the truth is in our lives and how much we need and love our friends. I have a feeling Zuri will find yoga someday. In essence, she is practicing it now.  Me? I have found yoga and tomorrow I will practice. I will breathe and practice and be present in my truth. And that is right where I need to be.