Me to We to Here to Be: Yogis in Service at lululemon

Me to We to Here to Be:

Yogis in Service at lululemon

[This is the talk I gave at lululemon conference 10/2015 Vancouver]

Catherine Cook-Cottone
10.2015 lululemon Conference

I am here to talk about yoga.

Yoga:

• A set of tools (asana, breath, and meditation) that lets me be here (hand to heart).
• The yoking of mind, body, and soul- the integration of the self.
• A practice that let’s me be- be aware, present, in my own power, and in my reason for being- my dharma.
• A practice of self-love.

Catherine Cook-Cottone, age 6

It took me a long time to find yoga. Always searching, I wanted to be anywhere else but here. Here was not for me. I was heading somewhere, achieving, figuring out how to be someone, something else- getting there. I was concerned with the constant measure of- no my judgment of- my progress to there. In this stress, I was never enough, not smart enough, loved enough, or pretty enough.  My body was not enough. Since the day I had a sense of it- I thought my body was broken, wrong. Not the right shape or size, too filled with craving. My thinking self fought my body, pushed it to get there- a battle, no surprise, that ended with an eating disorder.

Ruled from the top-down, disembodied, I did okay. I got through school, a masters, a Ph.D., and a job as a professor at a university. Still, I could not rest. You see, I didn’t know that any pursuit of there, without a safe haven here (hand to heart) was what they call the journey of the hungry ghost, an ancient notion of aberrations roaming the universe never able to be satisfied.

A hungry ghost, I kept going. Resigned to a path of empty pursuit, I started researching eating disorders- to get there. I found the works of Dr. Viktor Frankl, a Professor of Neurology and Psychiatry at the University of Vienna Medical School.  During World War II, he spent years in concentration camps, including Auschwitz and Dachau. In his book "Man's Search for Meaning" he makes a keen observation. It can be summarized like this,

 “Between stimulus and response there is a space.

In this space lies your power to choose your response.

In your response lies your growth and your freedom.”

In these words, my understanding of the universe was challenged. Where was his there? In the middle the most horrific conditions with no way out, Frankl found meaning, here (hand to heart). It gets better. He called this meaning love, a love that has changed the lives of millions of people.

I wanted to know that space. I wanted the here.

Enter yoga. A student at the university had invited me to her yoga class. I went filled with the notion that yoga was for people who liked their bodies, who had the good kinds of bodies, the bodies that looked right, moved right, and easily fell into calm relaxed states. Yoga was not for people like me.

Curious, I tried Yoga- anyway.  Asana. Sweat. Breath. Presence. In yoga, I was here (hand to heart).

From here, the process began. Each yoga class, each breath, each embodied moment got me a bit closer to settling in and connecting with- maybe even liking- then appreciating- and ultimately loving my own body. You see, I didn’t need to get there to be okay. Being okay could happen right here (hand to heart).

Yoga practice became my home. In yoga and in that space Dr. Frankl described so many years ago, I came to trust and love myself. I could let go of the tight grip on the steering wheel, let the pressure off of the gas pedal, stay, and breathe. Happiness, empowerment, and freedom weren’t in the stressful pursuit of there. In the space between stimulus and response, right here, there is an amazing capacity for love. And that self-love, like yoga, is not something that is gifted from genetics, amazing parents, or a neighborhood. It is a practice.

When you experience the kind of peacefulness and love I have found, you want to share. I became a yoga teacher. I teach at Power Yoga Buffalo and yoga is now central in my research. Through the growth I see in the yogis at our studio, the research findings, and the transformation I know personally, I am reliably and unfailingly moved by the effectiveness of these tools.

It doesn’t end there. When you have a resource this powerful, it becomes an issue of social justice. That is, does everyone have access?

In Buffalo there is great need.

The 4^th most impoverish city in the United States, 26% of Buffalo families live in poverty. The four-year graduation rate in Buffalo City Schools is 55%. Mortality rates in Erie County are higher than the NYS average. The main causes of death are cancer, cardio/vascular disease, homicide, and suicide.

It’s hard to be safe.

The City of Buffalo is considered one of the most dangerous in the United States. The crime index in Buffalo City is high at 616, compared to the US average of 295 and NYC at 246. That means per 100,000, we average 50 and 60 murders, 150-200 rapes, 1,300 robberies, 1,700 assaults, and 4,000 burglaries. There are thirteen gangs being tracked in the City of Buffalo.

It’s also hard to be healthy.

Despite the growing number of urban gardens, Buffalo is considered a food desert with no grocery stores. Residents are forced to shop at over-price, junk-laden convenient stores.

To be certain, there was no yoga.

Many in the city see no way out of the chronic stress that fills each day. It’s beyond being scared. Surrounded by obstacles and lacking resources, there is a sense of resignation for many. It’s a shutting down of hope. You have a felt sense that things are never going to change. I know that feeling.

At the end of a long home practice, sitting on my mat, mala beads hanging from my hand, I realized- I found here and I can be of service- a Yogi in Service. I have my love of the practice, my skills as a yoga teacher, the university, the members of the yoga studio in which I teach – I can create access to yoga.

Yogis in Service teaches yoga on the East-side of Buffalo. We have our weekly community class on Genesee and Doat and outreaches. The YIS mission is one of social justice. That is, we believe that all people regardless of poverty, race, ethnicity, gender, age, and neighborhood should have access to the tools of yoga. They should have access to that space, the one between stimulus and response, right here, that is filled with love, power, and freedom. You don’t need to get it out there. This is a space that-despite your circumstances- can be found in your practice. In yoga, you build resilience and strength. You learn how to down regulate your nervous system, center yourself, and be in intention- a skill set that that has great consequences in the city.

Through Yogis in Service, Diane has found Frankl’s space- her here.  Emotion is no longer a trigger that ends in more stress and hurt. Yoga has helped her, as it has helped me, stop, refocus, and breathe before acting, allowing her to act in full intention. Her grandchildren, Eric and Daija see her, see me, see us, and embody their practice, learning to think before they act. In that space, in their here, there are dreams of college and contribution. Emma is more confident and Cynthia sees her thought patterns, owns them, and has made an empowering shift from seeing the world through a lens of what she cannot do- toward a vision of what she can. Recovering from a horrible car accident, Alice now teaches us poses. Jeannette finds steadiness. Curtis finds calm in the middle of stress as he works to heal his body from tremendous illness. In Paulette, we see a journey to self–confidence and peace. She’s here to be happy- to dig into the here of life and be happy.

This is the power of yoga, meditation, and sweat- they are the pathway to here- tools for self-regulation, tools of integration, and the tools of self-love. It’s amazing what lies in the space these tools give us. Here we find the very best versions of ourselves, our passions, and our dharma.

lululemon Buffalo has supported me on this path since 2013. They helped my research team raise enough money go to Kenya and study the Africa Yoga Project, yielding the first published research study of the work they are doing, and helping me create the framework for Yogis in Service. With lululemon, I have done workshops, day-long retreats, service classes, and shared yoga with so many here in Buffalo. Inspired by the presentations I saw at the Ambassadors Summit in 2013, I successfully pitched YIS to lululemon Buffalo with a poem. That day, I earned Yogis in Service’s first small metta grant that allowed us to begin the work of becoming an official not-for-profit. With the Here to Be grant, we will be building a new yoga studio for our community class, for Yogis in Service. As I close, I will share the poem that got us the first metta grant...

Y- I- S- Yogis in Service

So many yogis want to serve
Teaching yoga to those in need
Alone it's easy to lose your nerve
Dreams die, un-watered seed

Yogis need a tribe, a place to go
A collective of the giving
Soil for dream seeds to grow
 Evolving thinking into living

Yogis in Service- I propose
yogis that meet to dream
To drop their fears, to strike the pose
so they can carpe diem

Goal- equipment to share
Goal- Mats, straps, and blocks
Goal- badass T-shirts to wear
Goal- a web page that rocks

Goal: yoga in schools, for kids in need
Goal: yoga so everyone can grow
Goal: yoga to inspire hearts to lead
Goal: YIS- across Buffalo

Yogis in Service, YIS

Yoga- to unite

Y- I - do
Y- I- love
Y- I- serve
Y- I- be

Be.     

Be the change you want to see in the world.  

Yogis in Service, YIS.      

Here to be.     

Catherine- out.

 

Yogis in Service, 2015

10 Things that the Chip Wilson lululemon Dilemma can Teach us (this week…) Cook-Cottone

10 Things that the Chip Wilson lululemon Dilemma can Teach us

(this week…)

Catherine Cook-Cottone, PhD, RYT

Before I get started I want to cover three things: (1) a thumb nail of the issue, (2) a bit about who I am (i.e., the context from which I speak), and (3) my intention.

Context

First, the current issue in brief (if you want to know more- Google- tons of reading for you). From what I can gather via the popular media and news outlets, over the years, Chip Wilson, the founder of lululemon, has made some controversial statements. According to reports (and as you can watch on YouTube), these have included his latest statements relating the fabric problems to the shape of women’s bodies. Specifically, he spoke about fabric issues being more of an issue with the way women’s thighs rub, than the fabric (in so many words).

Notably, thighs being highlighted in this statement is particularly challenging as our beautiful, strong, and powerful thighs seem to be the self-loathing target de jour. If you haven’t heard, a lot of women have been convinced that there is a such thing as a “thighs-touching” problem. 

Second, I am a lululemon Ambassador among other things. I am also a tenured, associate professor, a licensed psychologist, and a certified yoga teacher. I research the prevention and treatment of eating disorders, self-regulation, and yoga. I have written two books and have over 50 publications (see my faculty page here-- http://gse.buffalo.edu/about/directory/faculty/cook-cottone). I serve as an editor for scientific journals and have an active private practice treating individuals with eating disorders. I teach yoga three times a week. Two more things that really matter: I am the mom of two teenage daughters whom I love very much and I am recovered from an eating disorder.

Third, my intention for this post is one of learning and growing and NOT one of judgment. I have found (as I will address below) that judgment isn’t a creative or growth-oriented process. It doesn’t inspire. Conversely, all things can be our teachers. I see learning as a creative, inspiring, and generative process. This is the intention from which I write.

The 10 Lessons

When things happen in the world, with people and events, I work to see what the universe is teaching us/me. I work to find the lesson. These are the lessons I have found in this experience (so far, I am sure there will be more).

1.    No one and no thing is perfect.

I have to very, very clear here. I am not talking about the kind of perfect that I see when I look at the old maple tree in my backyard. It is knotted, both broken and healed by weather, and over 100 years old. I am not talking about that kind of perfect.

I am talking about the no-mistakes, no-missteps, no-weathering, no-knots, plastic perfect. I am talking about the the toxic, idealistic sense of perfection that holds many people hostage and in judgment. So that you know, this type of perfection is an illusion, an airbrushed, constructed image. I have seen people pursue this type of idealistic, toxic perfect all the way to the hospital. There is no room for struggle, effort, regret, or hope in that kind of perfect.

Instead of perfect, it serves us to look for other things. Ideas? How about peace, love, balance, healing, integration, and collaboration? Even the men and women we have held as role models have been in their imperfection. I was inspired when I read Gandhi’s interpretation of the Gita. He spoke of a time when he became very frustrated with school boys. He yelled at them and was harsh with his words. He was in regret and set an intention to be, to do, better. Yeah, no one and no thing is perfect. Not luon, not Chip Wilson, not me, and not you—not even Gandhi (I think he was getting there- like my maple).

2.    Slips and missteps are part of the process.

      Walking any path can be a challenge. But creating a new path is very, very challenging. There is no guidebook. There is no well worn foot path. lululemon has been a different company. Yes, they have made money, a lot of money. But they have embraced yoga, the community, and given back. If you Google Chip Wilson, he is described as a founder and philanthropist.

      The company does have manifesto that promotes good things. I believe this to be their intention. I don’t go to the meetings at the top, so I can’t speak to their intention or drives at that level. What I have experienced is this. At the lululemon Buffalo store, the employees are what and who they say they are. They are the healthiest, happiest, most positive group of beings around. They have been in action about the Buffalo community coming together. They have been about each of us being of power and accomplishing our goals. For example, Candice Cinquino, one of the employees, put on a Yoga Jam and raised thousands of dollars to send me and a group of seven other researchers to Nairobi, Africa to research the Africa Yoga Project (not even my university or the NIH did that).

      This is a new way of being as a company. And maybe sometimes, on this new path, they misstep and act and speak out of intention. I will be forever grateful for lululemon Buffalo and Candice for their help. Thank you, Chip Wilson, for forging a path that helped people like Candice be in their power and not just another young lady behind a cash register.

3.    Own your sh#%. Cause when you don't, it gets dicey.

If you don’t take responsibility, things get dicey. Own what is yours. It is not our thighs. It is the fabric. It pills when it rubs. I have seen it. I have experienced it. It needs work. Trust me, I love the clothes overall. But there have been iterations of the fabric that have not been so great. I get it, you are working on it. Still, don’t put it on us or our thighs. Make a kick a#$ fabric. Make a fabric that allows our thighs to be glorious, powerful, and for goodness sake, let our thighs touch the way the universe intended them to. And own that.  

We all need to own what is ours. It isn’t easy and sometimes we need feedback to see when we might have a blindside (see communication below).  Owning your mistakes and taking responsibility is a form of yoga, Satya. It is one way of living in your truth. In truth, there is power.

4.    Integrating ideals in a company, a government, and even the self can be hard.

     One way that lululemon is different is the integration of what some people conceptualize as competing goals: (a) being a for-profit company and, (b) being of values and service. This is not easily done. Some say it can’t be done. Others say it must be done. In history, there are models in industry and farming that demonstrate all levels of integration of various aspects of business. For example, integration of ownership and work force, as well as the integration of values and profit. Striking the right balance, as history and lululemon has shown us, is an art.

      One of the reasons I have loved being an Ambassador is the integration of profit and values. Pre-lululemon I was buying pricey yoga clothes anyway (judge me if you must). I love yoga and I love yoga tops, pants, scarves, hoodies -- all things yoga clothes. I don’t even buy clothes for my university work on a yearly basis. My indulgence is yoga clothes. The old clothes are donated so that these clothes have many lives. Some of my old clothes are in Africa right now (I hope they are doing some awesome yoga or something else super fun).  lululemon created a place where I could buy my gorgeous yoga clothes and support and inspire others in the pursuit healthy and good things.

      Thing is-- with all of the manifesto and giving back action-- they have placed themselves in another category. We aren’t quite as shocked when other founders and CEOs say triggering, hurtful things about our bodies. It makes sense. Their words read just like their store fronts read and are entirely consistent with the message they send out to the world in their media packages. At lululemon, we expect a higher discourse. Not because we put you there, but because you put you there.

5.    Profit isn't the enemy of good and good isn't the enemy of profit.

      Yeah, this current misstep is no fun and I am frustrated with the statements of Chip Wilson. I am glad he apologized to his employees. He needed to. It would also be great if he recorded and published other apologies- maybe one to our thighs.

      Still, I want to be sure I cover this. lululemon isn’t bad from the start just because they have made money. I am in the field of human service. There is often a perception that if you choose a career that helps others, you are required to take a vow of poverty. I hope for a shift. I hope that we can teach the world to value physical and mental health, yoga, holistic healing, and other embodied practices. I hope that people in our field can more easily make a living, maybe even do better than that.

      lululemon has shown that there is money in yoga. A lot of it. Good. They have created a business that has allowed people to have full-on careers that are embedded in yoga. Good. It is all about the integration. Why not have profit and do good too? Why not be creative and structured too? Profit is good. Art is good. Yoga is good. Business is good. It can all be good and maybe even really good, together.

6.    Know your power.

      Someone I love very much once told me that she didn’t tell me she was proud of me that often because she didn’t think it mattered. In fact, she said that she didn’t think she mattered. She said, “Who am I to say what you are doing is great. Of course it is. Why would you care what I think? It is only me.”

      That person is my Mom. No matter what her career path, successes, etc. (which is all really, pretty neat), she is my Mom. She didn’t get that it might be super, maybe even critically, important for me to know that she saw me. We spoke more and talked about how nearly every kid from two to fifty years old thinks their moms and dads are the most powerful people in the universe (I am smiling here), especially when it comes to our self-concept. And yes, I want to hear that you are proud of me and yes that matters, you matter.

      The moral of that story… I think that sometimes we don’t realize our power. I think that Chip Wilson forgets that there are many people listening. I think he forgets that he is powerful and his words matter.

      When you remember your power, you are much more careful with what you say and don’t say. WARNING! When you are this powerful (maybe you are a mom or a dad, maybe you are the founder of one of the biggest companies in Canada), be impeccable with your words.

      Share love, pride, and gratitude, and don’t criticize our thighs.

7.    Consider staying or getting in the game.

Some people have chosen to get out of the game and I honor that choice. You have to know when to hold them and when to fold them (a line from an old country song).

I tend to stay in the game so long as I believe that I can be of change. I have worked within complex systems and organizations my whole life. These systems have ranged from non-profits to for-profits, from small agencies to my current university. These organizations are made of people, for people. The way that change happens is that people change things. I have been able to do very powerful things from the inside-- one meeting and one person at a time. I am- Be The Change. My university is, in part, what is because of who I am. My yoga studio is, in part, what it is because of who I am. Lululemon, is in part, what it is because of who I am (and yes [see the next point] I have voiced my feelings and thoughts on both the fabric and the words).

8.     Communicate- use your voice (Vushuddha).

People need feedback. Feel your feelings. Yes. Then, sculpt your words. Speak in effectiveness, intention, and purpose. I wrote a letter about a recent lululemon purchase. The fabric was below lululemon standards. I took photos (easy), wrote a note (easy), embedded the photos in my letter (easy), and mailed it (easy). I am in communication with a representative at lululemon about Chip Wilson's statements. In fact, all ambassadors that want to talk about this can have these same conversations. The response: lululemon is interested and wants to hear how this is affecting us and our clients. Speak.

9.    Practice Media Literacy

Media Literacy- know the message, source, and intention of the media you consume. Yes speak and give feedback to lululemon.

But don't stop here. Start here!

Have you seen Barbie and other fashion dolls (of note, at Barbie's height and weight she would be inpatient or dead)? Are you mad about that? Boy’s action figures? Video game images of men and women? Are you mad? We are exposed to thousands of images everyday that extol overly-thin body ideals that are unattainable and unhealthy.

Chip Wilson wasn't speaking in a vacuum. Perhaps he's been numbed, as have most of us, by the nonstop harassment purposefully embedded in  media messages saying that the pathway to happiness is through thinness.

FYI. It's not. I can tell you from a point of expertise and experience. Not one person has found happiness, bliss, connection, or peace of mind in the land of being clinically underweight. In fact, research suggests that you become rigid in your thinking, obsessive- especially about food and body, struggle with anxiety and mood dysregulation, experience poor sleep, withdraw from those you love etc., etc., etc.

So, NO, we don’t need anyone telling us that there is something wrong with us if our thighs touch. There are some whose thighs don’t touch. Maybe your thighs don’t touch and that is healthy for you because that is exactly how you are genetically inclined to be when you are at a healthy weight. However, for most of us, when we are at a healthy weight, the odds are, our thighs will touch and maybe even rub when we are—doing yoga, or running, or otherwise being healthy. If we got thin enough for them not to touch, we would be in that too-thin spot I described above-- which is not physiologically or emotionally healthy.

Please note, this is a behavioral request—that is, this is a request for Chip Wilson to not speak in judgment about women’s bodies. It is a request for behavior change and not a judgment of a person.

10. Judgment isn't a healing or inspiring act

      Judgment is not a healing or inspiring act. It is not an effective way to inspire behavioral change in another person. If I judge you, you are very likely to move into defense, explanation, rationalization, etc. I may even have the effect of helping you to dig your heels in deeper.

      To be effective, use a respectful voice, describe what works, voice your experience, and request what you would like.

It might look like this:

·      “For many years, I have loved lululemon clothes, the company, and the people that work with lululemon. I am excited about the possibilities for your company. I believe there are great things to come because I have both seen and experienced great things from your company.”

·      “Please know, I feel angry and hurt when you blame the performance of your fabric on the natural shape of a woman’s body.”

  

·      “As a woman, I find those words hurtful and sexist.”

·      “I request that you do not disparage the female form in this way again.”

·      “I would be open to an apology.”

·      “ I ask that if you are truly in the business making amazing yoga clothes for women, that you honor our natural shape in the process.”

·      “I ask that you continue to work toward creating a highly effective fabric that will facilitate our embodied practices and a healthy earth.”

·      “Thank you for all you have done. I see it and am grateful. Now, do even better because I want this for you!”

Namaste,

Catherine Cook-Cottone

The Yoga Bag: Cook-Cottone at http://theyogabag.blogspot.com