10 Things that the
Chip Wilson lululemon Dilemma can Teach us
(this week…)
Catherine Cook-Cottone, PhD, RYT
Before
I get started I want to cover three things: (1) a thumb nail of the issue, (2) a
bit about who I am (i.e., the context from which I speak), and (3) my intention.
Context
First,
the current issue in brief (if you want
to know more- Google- tons of reading for you). From what I can gather via
the popular media and news outlets, over the years, Chip Wilson, the founder of
lululemon, has made some controversial statements. According to reports (and as you can watch on YouTube), these
have included his latest statements relating the fabric problems to the shape
of women’s bodies. Specifically, he spoke about fabric issues being more of an
issue with the way women’s thighs rub, than the fabric (in so many words).
Notably,
thighs being highlighted in this statement is particularly challenging as our
beautiful, strong, and powerful thighs seem to be the self-loathing target de
jour. If you haven’t heard, a lot of women have been convinced that there is a
such thing as a “thighs-touching” problem.
Second,
I am a lululemon Ambassador among other things. I am also a tenured, associate professor,
a licensed psychologist, and a certified yoga teacher. I research the prevention
and treatment of eating disorders, self-regulation, and yoga. I have written
two books and have over 50 publications (see my faculty page here-- http://gse.buffalo.edu/about/directory/faculty/cook-cottone).
I serve as an editor for scientific journals and have an active private
practice treating individuals with eating disorders. I teach yoga three times a
week. Two more things that really matter: I am the mom of two teenage daughters
whom I love very much and I am recovered from an eating disorder.
Third,
my intention for this post is one of learning and growing and NOT one of
judgment. I have found (as I will address below) that judgment isn’t a creative
or growth-oriented process. It doesn’t inspire. Conversely, all things can be
our teachers. I see learning as a creative, inspiring, and generative process.
This is the intention from which I write.
The 10 Lessons
When
things happen in the world, with people and events, I work to see what the
universe is teaching us/me. I work to find the lesson. These are the lessons I
have found in this experience (so far, I am sure there will be more).
1. No one and no thing is perfect.
I
have to very, very clear here. I am not talking about the kind of perfect that
I see when I look at the old maple tree in my backyard. It is knotted, both broken
and healed by weather, and over 100 years old. I am not talking about that kind
of perfect.
I
am talking about the no-mistakes, no-missteps, no-weathering, no-knots, plastic
perfect. I am talking about the the toxic, idealistic sense of perfection that
holds many people hostage and in judgment. So that you know, this type of
perfection is an illusion, an airbrushed, constructed image. I have seen people
pursue this type of idealistic, toxic perfect all the way to the hospital.
There is no room for struggle, effort, regret, or hope in that kind of perfect.
Instead
of perfect, it serves us to look for other things. Ideas? How about peace,
love, balance, healing, integration, and collaboration? Even the men and women
we have held as role models have been in their imperfection. I was inspired
when I read Gandhi’s interpretation of the Gita. He spoke of a time when he
became very frustrated with school boys. He yelled at them and was harsh with
his words. He was in regret and set an intention to be, to do, better. Yeah, no
one and no thing is perfect. Not luon, not Chip Wilson, not me, and not you—not
even Gandhi (I think he was getting there- like my maple).
2. Slips and missteps are part of the process.
Walking
any path can be a challenge. But creating a new path is very, very challenging.
There is no guidebook. There is no well worn foot path. lululemon has been a
different company. Yes, they have made money, a lot of money. But they have
embraced yoga, the community, and given back. If you Google Chip Wilson, he is described
as a founder and philanthropist.
The
company does have manifesto that promotes good things. I believe this to be
their intention. I don’t go to the meetings at the top, so I can’t speak to
their intention or drives at that level. What I have experienced is this. At
the lululemon Buffalo store, the employees are what and who they say they are.
They are the healthiest, happiest, most positive group of beings around. They
have been in action about the Buffalo community coming together. They have been
about each of us being of power and accomplishing our goals. For example, Candice
Cinquino, one of the employees, put on a Yoga Jam and raised thousands of dollars
to send me and a group of seven other researchers to Nairobi, Africa to
research the Africa Yoga Project (not even my university or the NIH did that).
This
is a new way of being as a company. And maybe sometimes, on this new path, they
misstep and act and speak out of intention. I will be forever grateful for
lululemon Buffalo and Candice for their help. Thank you, Chip Wilson, for
forging a path that helped people like Candice be in their power and not just
another young lady behind a cash register.
3. Own your sh#%. Cause when you don't, it gets dicey.
If
you don’t take responsibility, things get dicey. Own what is yours. It is not
our thighs. It is the fabric. It pills when it rubs. I have seen it. I have experienced
it. It needs work. Trust me, I love the clothes overall. But there have been iterations
of the fabric that have not been so great. I get it, you are working on it.
Still, don’t put it on us or our thighs. Make a kick a#$ fabric. Make a fabric
that allows our thighs to be glorious, powerful, and for goodness sake, let our
thighs touch the way the universe intended them to. And own that.
We
all need to own what is ours. It isn’t easy and sometimes we need feedback to
see when we might have a blindside (see communication below). Owning your mistakes and taking
responsibility is a form of yoga, Satya. It is one way of living in your truth.
In truth, there is power.
4. Integrating ideals in a company, a government, and even the self
can be hard.
One
way that lululemon is different is the integration of what some people
conceptualize as competing goals: (a) being a for-profit company and, (b) being of
values and service. This is not easily done. Some say it can’t be done. Others
say it must be done. In history, there are models in industry and farming that
demonstrate all levels of integration of various aspects of business. For example, integration of ownership and work force, as well as the integration of values
and profit. Striking the right balance, as history and lululemon has shown us,
is an art.
One
of the reasons I have loved being an Ambassador is the integration of profit
and values. Pre-lululemon I was buying pricey yoga clothes anyway (judge me if
you must). I love yoga and I love yoga tops, pants, scarves, hoodies -- all
things yoga clothes. I don’t even buy clothes for my university work on a
yearly basis. My indulgence is yoga clothes. The old clothes are donated so
that these clothes have many lives. Some of my old clothes are in Africa right
now (I hope they are doing some awesome yoga or something else super fun).
lululemon created a place where I could buy my gorgeous yoga clothes
and support and inspire others in the pursuit healthy and good things.
Thing
is-- with all of the manifesto and giving back action-- they have placed
themselves in another category. We aren’t quite as shocked when other founders
and CEOs say triggering, hurtful things about our bodies. It makes sense. Their
words read just like their store fronts read and are entirely consistent with the message
they send out to the world in their media packages. At lululemon, we expect a
higher discourse. Not because we put you there, but because you put you there.
5. Profit isn't the enemy of good and good isn't the enemy of
profit.
Yeah,
this current misstep is no fun and I am frustrated with the statements of Chip
Wilson. I am glad he apologized to his employees. He needed to. It would also
be great if he recorded and published other apologies- maybe one to our thighs.
Still,
I want to be sure I cover this. lululemon isn’t bad from the start just because
they have made money. I am in the field of human service. There is often a
perception that if you choose a career that helps others, you are required to
take a vow of poverty. I hope for a shift. I hope that we can teach the world
to value physical and mental health, yoga, holistic healing, and other embodied
practices. I hope that people in our field can more easily make a living, maybe
even do better than that.
lululemon
has shown that there is money in yoga. A lot of it. Good. They have created a
business that has allowed people to have full-on careers that are embedded in
yoga. Good. It is all about the integration. Why not have profit and do good
too? Why not be creative and structured too? Profit is good. Art is good. Yoga
is good. Business is good. It can all be good and maybe even
really good, together.
6. Know your power.
Someone
I love very much once told me that she didn’t tell me she was proud of me that
often because she didn’t think it mattered. In fact, she said that she didn’t think
she mattered. She said, “Who am I to say what you are doing is great. Of course
it is. Why would you care what I think? It is only me.”
That
person is my Mom. No matter what her career path, successes, etc.
(which is all really, pretty neat), she is my Mom. She didn’t get that it
might be super, maybe even critically, important for me to know that she saw me.
We spoke more and talked about how nearly every kid from two to fifty years
old thinks their moms and dads are the most powerful people in the universe (I
am smiling here), especially when it comes to our self-concept. And yes, I want
to hear that you are proud of me and yes that matters, you matter.
The
moral of that story… I think that sometimes we don’t realize our power. I think
that Chip Wilson forgets that there are many people listening. I think he
forgets that he is powerful and his words matter.
When
you remember your power, you are much more careful with what you say and don’t
say. WARNING! When you are this powerful (maybe you are a mom or a dad, maybe
you are the founder of one of the biggest companies in Canada), be impeccable with
your words.
Share
love, pride, and gratitude, and don’t criticize our thighs.
7. Consider staying or getting in the game.
Some
people have chosen to get out of the game and I honor that choice. You have to
know when to hold them and when to fold them (a line from an old country song).
I
tend to stay in the game so long as I believe that I can be of change. I have
worked within complex systems and organizations my whole life. These systems
have ranged from non-profits to for-profits, from small agencies to my current university.
These organizations are made of people, for people. The way that change happens
is that people change things. I have been able to do very powerful things from
the inside-- one meeting and one person at a time. I am- Be The Change. My university is, in part, what is because of who I
am. My yoga studio is, in part, what it is because of who I am. Lululemon, is in
part, what it is because of who I am (and
yes [see the next point] I have voiced my feelings and thoughts on both the fabric
and the words).
8.
Communicate- use your voice
(Vushuddha).
People
need feedback. Feel your feelings. Yes. Then, sculpt your words. Speak in effectiveness,
intention, and purpose. I wrote a letter about a recent lululemon purchase. The fabric was below lululemon standards. I took
photos (easy), wrote a note (easy), embedded the photos in my letter (easy), and
mailed it (easy). I am in communication with a representative at lululemon
about Chip Wilson's statements. In fact, all ambassadors that want to talk
about this can have these same conversations. The response: lululemon is
interested and wants to hear how this is affecting us and our clients. Speak.
9. Practice Media Literacy
Media
Literacy- know the message, source, and intention of the media you consume. Yes
speak and give feedback to lululemon.
But
don't stop here. Start here!
Have
you seen Barbie and other fashion dolls (of note, at Barbie's height and weight she would be inpatient or dead)? Are you mad about that? Boy’s action
figures? Video game images of men and women? Are you mad? We are exposed to
thousands of images everyday that extol overly-thin body ideals that are
unattainable and unhealthy.
Chip
Wilson wasn't speaking in a vacuum. Perhaps he's been numbed, as have most of
us, by the nonstop harassment purposefully embedded in media messages saying that the pathway to
happiness is through thinness.
FYI.
It's not. I can tell you from a point of expertise and experience. Not one
person has found happiness, bliss, connection, or peace of mind in the land of
being clinically underweight. In fact, research suggests that you become rigid
in your thinking, obsessive- especially about food and body, struggle with
anxiety and mood dysregulation, experience poor sleep, withdraw from those you
love etc., etc., etc.
So,
NO, we don’t need anyone telling us that there is something wrong with us if our
thighs touch. There are some whose thighs don’t touch. Maybe your thighs don’t
touch and that is healthy for you because that is exactly how you are
genetically inclined to be when you are at a healthy weight. However, for most of us, when
we are at a healthy weight, the odds are, our thighs will touch and maybe even
rub when we are—doing yoga, or running, or otherwise being healthy. If we got
thin enough for them not to touch, we would be in that too-thin spot I described
above-- which is not physiologically or emotionally healthy.
Please
note, this is a behavioral request—that is, this is a request for Chip Wilson to
not speak in judgment about women’s bodies. It is a request for behavior change
and not a judgment of a person.
10. Judgment isn't a healing or inspiring act
Judgment
is not a healing or inspiring act. It is not an effective way to inspire behavioral change in another person. If I judge you, you are very likely to
move into defense, explanation, rationalization, etc. I may even have the
effect of helping you to dig your heels in deeper.
To
be effective, use a respectful voice, describe what works, voice your
experience, and request what you would like.
It
might look like this:
·
“For many years, I have loved
lululemon clothes, the company, and the people that work with lululemon. I am
excited about the possibilities for your company. I believe there are great
things to come because I have both seen and experienced great things from your
company.”
·
“Please know, I feel angry
and hurt when you blame the performance of your fabric on the natural shape of a woman’s
body.”
·
“As a woman, I find those words hurtful
and sexist.”
·
“I request that you do not
disparage the female form in this way again.”
·
“I would be open to an
apology.”
·
“ I ask that if you are truly
in the business making amazing yoga clothes for women, that you honor our natural
shape in the process.”
·
“I ask that you continue to work
toward creating a highly effective fabric that will facilitate our embodied
practices and a healthy earth.”
·
“Thank you for all you have
done. I see it and am grateful. Now, do even
better because I want this for you!”
Namaste,
Catherine Cook-Cottone
 |
| The Yoga Bag: Cook-Cottone at http://theyogabag.blogspot.com |
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