Steps to Creating A Soul Nourishing New Years Resolution for a Great 2018!
Creating a soul nourishing and sustaining New
Year’s Resolution is an ancient art. In fact, New Year’s Resolutions have been
around in some form or another since the Babylonians. As an art form, the New Year’s Resolution has
had many years to evolve to a place of accessibility for all.
The art form is ready for you and your success.
Below is a list of guiding Dos and Don'ts.
First, clear a space (see
http://theyogabag.blogspot.com/2013/12/three-big-steps-to-being-up-to-amazing.html).
Then, the definition.
A New Year’s Resolution is a promise
to yourself to engage in some form of self-improvement
during the New Year.
Breaking that down:
(a) Promise: promise
(according to Mariam-Webster): a statement telling someone that you will
definitely do something or that something will definitely happen in the future,
an indication of future success or improvement, a reason to expect that
something will happen in the future;
(b) Engage: to pledge
oneself, promise, to make a guarantee;
(c) Self-improvement:
improvement of one’s condition through one’s owns efforts;
(d) Condition: the circumstances affecting the
way in which people live or work, esp. with regard to their well-being (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/promise).
To craft your Soul Nourishing New Years Resolution
you must-- make (engage in) a promise to yourself in order to improve your own
well-being. How do you do this?
There is A LOT of research on how to improve your
own well-being. According to research it is very likely that as you improve
your well-being, you will be doing a lot of good for others. If you dig into
the research articles you will see that well-being has a ton to do with
gratitude, giving, generosity, health, and love. So here we go!
1. Do: Build a larger framework
for your resolution.
Everything from a yoga asana (pose) to a home is
strongest when built within a solid framework, a solid foundation. For
resolutions, it can be very helpful to begin by seeing yourself 5 years down
the road. Take your age right now and add 5 years (your age + 5 = X). See
yourself at X. What are you doing? Who are you with? What is the weather? What
is around you? How do you feel? Set this vision. Get out a journal or a piece
of paper and put your vision on paper. Write a paragraph describing your 5
years from now self (X). Create a collage of X.
Remember, you will be 5 years older in 5 years
anyway. So don’t let fear of aging stop you. It is happening. So what kind of 5
years older form of you (X) do you want to be? Doing nothing, holding on to
your same patterns is also a plan. Know that. If that is what you want,
perfect. If not, make a plan. From this plan, build your goals and then your
New Year’s Resolution.
2. Don’t: Work from an anti-dream,
anti-goal, or anti-vision.
Work from what you want to create not what you want
to avoid. If you want prosperity, say that. If you want sobriety, say that. If
you want contentment, say that. Work from what will be manifested and not what
you want to avoid.
It is always good to have a sense of what you want
to avoid (e.g., debt, addiction, alcoholism, etc..). However, to be effective
you want to work from a place of creation. For example, as you work toward
presence and sobriety, as result you are not drunk and dissociated. On the
other hand, if you say, “I will not be anything like my Father,” you are still
beholden to the mold. It’s mirror image, still the mold. Create your own
vision, something new (I know there are some who say to do this [e.g., work from
an anti-vision]. You can if you if you’d like. It won’t be as powerful,
creative, or positive).
You might need to clear a space for your New Year's
Resolution- see this post
http://theyogabag.blogspot.com/2013/12/three-big-steps-to-being-up-to-amazing.html
3. Do: Envision yourself as
healthy and strong.
Healthy is beautiful. Healthy is beautiful. Healthy
is beautiful. Healthy is beautiful.
We are completely inundated with media messages
telling us that we need to be smaller, thinner, leaner, and-all-that. New
Year’s Resolutions and visions based on being smaller or closer to an idealized
media image-- backfire. Don’t do it.
Consider the Health At Any Size Movement. Here is
an excerpt from their web-page.
“Let’s face facts. We’ve
lost the war on obesity. Fighting fat hasn’t made the fat go away. And being
thinner, even if we knew how to successfully accomplish it, will not
necessarily make us healthier or happier. The war on obesity has taken its
toll. Extensive “collateral damage” has resulted: Food and body preoccupation,
self-hatred, eating disorders, discrimination, poor health... Few of us are at
peace with our bodies, whether because we’re fat or because we fear becoming
fat. Health at Every Size is the new peace movement. Very simply, it
acknowledges that good health can best be realized independent from
considerations of size. It supports people—of all sizes—in addressing health
directly by adopting healthy behaviors.” An excerpt from Health
at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight by Linda
Bacon, PhD. http://www.haescommunity.org
4. Don’t: Base
your New Year’s Resolutions on deprivation, restriction, and withholding from
yourself. It backfires too.
A good example is dieting. Dieting won’t get you
where you want to be. Here is one of the many reviews: Long-term Effects of
Dieting: Is Weight Loss Related to Health? A. Janet Tomiyama, Britt
Ahlstrom, & Traci Mann (2013)- reference below.
Worse yet, in the restriction and deprivation you
will feel like you are restricted and deprived. Humans hate this. We fight
against it. We rebel. And guess what happens by January 15th? Yes,
you will have completely ditched all restriction-based resolutions and will be
knee deep in your anti-vision.
5. Do: Set your
sights on a practice that enhances well-being.
Here are many, many ideas. Choose one or more and
set intentions to practice any one or more of these things often.
a. Embodied practices: yoga,
running, Tae Kwon Do, etc.
b. Meditation (go here for a great
app- https://insighttimer.com- I love this one)
c. Travel
d. Communing with nature (e.g.,
hiking, bird watching)
e. Commitment to a cause (e.g., the
Africa Yoga Project)
f. Religious practice
g. Artwork (e.g., draw, take
photographs, make mala beads)
h. Music- listen, practice, create
i. Writing- poetry, blogging,
journaling, etc..
j. Family and friend time
k. Set an amazing world changing goal with
specifics
l. Be in Service- support others, lift the world up in some way (maybe help Yogis in Service, Inc. www.yogisinservice.org).
6. Don’t: Choose
something because you feel like you should.
Don’t choose the thing you think people will like,
approve of, or admire. Pick the thing that makes you excited, the thing you
want for you, the thing that makes you feel a feeling all around your heart
when you think of it (see [k] above). You were brought to this world for a
reason. We need you to manifest the reason for your soul. It will set you on
fire. Do that thing.
"If you
are what you are meant to be, you will set the whole world on fire."
St.
Catherine of Siena
Note: There may be a few small goals you should
address first. It's okay, and maybe even good, to start small-- engage in small
accomplishable steps (e.g., eating vegetables twice a day, hydrating each day).
These smaller goals are the foundational work for larger dreams. Create the
foundation first.
7. Do: Find a
Partner
I joined Snyder Running Club a few years ago. We post our runs and get each there to get out there and run in the hot and the cold. It is the community that keeps us going when the love-of-the-run is elusive. We have gained so much more than running form this club- life long friendships and many, many fun times.
8. Don’t: Set
standards so high and so pure that a human being can’t be successful.
Weave in struggle. Make promises you CAN keep. In 2009, my sister and me made a commitment to daily exercise. In order to help us be successful, in the
making of our commitment contract we wove in human error. There is room for
missteps and life that allows us to pursue this goal and be successful. Here
they are.
(a) Each week you get a skip day
(b) Every six months you can burn two
skip days a week
(c) You need only do something
physical for 30 minutes and that counts
Another example- I set a goal in 2015 to meditate
108 days before the new year. I set guidelines giving room for error (i.e.,
room for success). Important to my
success, I had a make-up rule- that is- I could meditate for twice the amount
the next day and not consider missing a set-back.
My husband has a great way of looking at it- he
says, "I just need to see someone is trying. That is all that
matters." Yep- I had most certainly been trying for 108 days!
9. Do: Write it
down or get an app
Make it yours, own it, and write it down. There are
lots of ways to do this. You can use an old-fashioned pen and paper. You can
keep a log on your computer, or a blog on the Internet. I put mine in the front
cover of my daily planner and on my iPhone- there are apps…. (see below).
“Goal setting involves establishing a plan and
creating steps to help you achieve what once was just a dream. Two vital parts
of achieving your goals are motivation and habit building. Thankfully there are
some apps that will help you create some healthy new habits that will move your
life in the right direction to help you achieve your goals. We compare the best
ones in this AppGuide.”
http://appadvice.com/appguides/show/habit-building-apps
10. Don’t:
Automatically Keep your New Year’s Resolution a secret or tell everybody
As an impulse or mindless action, neither of those
is a good idea. Your New Year’s Resolution is yours. It is yours to share or
keep for as long as you’d like. Choose thoughtfully, mindfully. If you share,
choose to share with those who will empower you. Sometimes it helps to hold it
close to your heart. I like to do this. I set goals and sometimes-- I don’t
tell anyone. It is between me and me (and me and God). After I have
accomplished my goal, sometimes I tell my husband or a friend. Sometimes I
don’t tell anyone. This is one of those
things that varies person to person. As much as I like to keep things to
myself, other people do better when they share their goals. Share goals only
with people who will let it be yours. No matter which you choose, make sure it
stays your goal and your commitment.
11. Do: Mix great effort with
great rest.
Make sure you have built restoration and recovery
time into your plans. I say this over and over in my yoga classes, “With
great effort, take great rest!” You can Google, study, and research any
great man or woman and you will see that sustained effort was paired with
support and periods of restoration. I have taught the History of Psychology for
many years at the University at Buffalo. What I have noticed is that longevity
and impact, without tragedy, was paired with a restorative life. The moral of
the story, if you want to do great things and have a great life, match great
effort with great rest.
12. Don’t: Make
your goals someone else’s job.
It is so easy to tell a bunch of people, your
partner, a best friend what you want to do and then make it their problem to
monitor you, remind you, and inspire you. You are giving your success away and
people find this annoying (unless they are co-dependent and even then they
should not be doing it). It’s your resolution, your job, and your success when
you get there. And trust me, it feels amazing to set, work for, and accomplish
a goal.
13. Do: Make it
concrete
Make your New Year’s Resolution concrete. Do not
create broad open-ended New Year’s Resolutions like, “I will love others more”
or “I will contribute to world peace.” These are good ideas AND they can also
be concrete. For example, “I will love others more” might translate to, “I will
call my dad and mom every Tuesday and Thursday to check in and tell them that I
love them.” Also, “I will contribute to world peace” might translate to, “I
will volunteer to teach yoga at the youth detention center one hour a week.”
Those things are real, concrete.
Like my sister and I did with our exercise plan, we
said exactly when it started (that day), how often (6 or more days a week),
what (30 minutes or more of physical exercise including walking), and a
monitoring system (text each other the workout each day).
These examples are so specific there is no question
of whether happens or not. For my sister and I, sometimes we check on this or
that asking if the other thinks that a particular thing counted. Usually we
agree that it counts because it meets our basic criteria- 30 minutes of
exercise. Please note, we excluded house-cleaning. That does not count- see how
clear we are? That is how clear and concrete you need to be.
As I write, I have written 6 books. I did this all, one word, one paragraph at a time. I make a commitment to write for a certain amount of time, a certain amount of days per week, depending on the time of year and my commitments. I don't try to "write a book" that is too big and abstract. I would toward tangible hours writing and sometimes- I set a goal to get an idea across on paper. Something like, "Today I will write until I have laid out what it means to be secular when delivering yoga in schools." In these ways, my plans are concrete and accessible.
14. Don’t: Base your
goals or resolutions on resentment or showing someone something.
I did this for a while. I fueled my achievement
with anger. Anger is not a half-bad fuel. But it burns dirty. You are left with
your achievements in your hands and black smoke everywhere. Goals built on “I
will show you” lack the shine, the inner glow, and the love that you see in
victories that come from the heart. Work on your anger, process it, and let it
go. Then, build your dreams on something more beautiful than anger.
And this- You might need to clear a space for your
New Year's Resolution- see this post
http://theyogabag.blogspot.com/2013/12/three-big-steps-to-being-up-to-amazing.html
15. Do: It for love
Ah, this is the stuff. LOVE. Build your
resolutions and goals on (a) what you love, (b) for love, and, (c) on love of
life. Not only will this be more pure and light and beautiful. It will be full
of joy and fun. Goals and resolutions built on passion and love…….well
that is the stuff of dreams.
This is what I want for you. I want you to
accomplish your dreams- one goal, one resolution at a time- from a place of
love. So, DREAM ON!
Have fun with these. We get this
one shot at life. Make it great. I am.
Your soul will love you for it.
"If you
are what you are meant to be, you will set the whole world on fire."
St.
Catherine of Siena
Namaste,
Catherine
The Yoga Bag
http://theyogabag.blogspot.com
References
Long-term Effects of Dieting: Is Weight Loss
Related to Health? A. Janet Tomiyama1, Britt
Ahlstrom1, Traci Mann2,*http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/spc3.12076/abstract;jsessionid=CC1FAF44A3FDD1965B4C69A1EE00684A.f02t04?deniedAccessCustomisedMessage=&userIsAuthenticated=false
Abstract
“Success” in dieting interventions has traditionally been defined as
weight loss. It is implicit in this definition that losing weight will lead to
improved health, and yet, health outcomes are not routinely included in studies
of diets. In this article, we evaluate whether weight loss improves health by
reviewing health outcomes of long-term randomized controlled diet studies. We
examine whether weight-loss diets lead to improved cholesterol, triglycerides,
systolic and diastolic blood pressure, and fasting blood glucose and test
whether the amount of weight lost is predictive of these health outcomes.
Across all studies, there were minimal improvements in these health outcomes,
and none of these correlated with weight change. A few positive effects
emerged, however, for hypertension and diabetes medication use and diabetes and
stroke incidence. We conclude by discussing factors that potentially confound
the relationship between weight loss and health outcomes, such as increased
exercise, healthier eating, and engagement with the health care system, and we
provide suggestions for future research
