Wide Right, No Goal

If you don’t know what I am talking about Google “Wide Right, No Goal and Buffalo.” You will run across links and blogs like this: Buffalo Bills- http://www.ubbullrun.com/2014/8/11/5811720/worse-buffalo-moment-1-wide-right and Sabres- http://adm1370m-buffalo-sabres.wikispaces.com/No+Goal!.

Or- you can go to lululemon Walden Galleria and see the words etched on the floor at the entrance (or not- see images at the end of this blog).

It is our shared history. For the Buffalo Bills it was "Wide Right" and for the Sabres it was "No Goal." Some say the Bills Game was one of the worse moments in the history of Buffalo sports. I am not so sure about that. These games were most certainty among the the hardest to watch. Most of us remember where we were, whom we were with, and the brand of beer we were drinking.

The Bills game went down like this. The Buffalo Bills had one of the best seasons in the history of the team. They were strong, solid, and made us PROUD. It was the BIG GAME. There were eight seconds left in the Super Bowl. Buffalo had possession of the ball and was trailing 20 – 19. The team lined up for a 47-yard field goal. Norwood set up for a field goal attempt. This was a 47-yarder and would be Norwood's longest ever on grass. We all held our collective breath.

Wide Right. No Goal. 

That was it.

We stared at the TV. Silence- for a long time.

Then, the cautious glances to others in the room. Man, we love this team. We wanted this for them, for us, for Buffalo.

Yeah, for Buffalo.

People have asked me why the lululemon store at the Walden Galleria put “Wide Right. No Goal” at the entrance of the store. They did it for good reason. They did it for the Buffalo Bills (Wide Right) and the Sabres (No Goal). The answer I give is the same when I work with kids and adults on empowerment.

It is our efforts, our trials and tribulations, and our ability to dig deep, try again, and persevere that make us who we are. Success, sure that is great. But character, honest-to-goodness, gritty, get up and pull yourself up by your bootstraps character- man- that comes from days like “Wide Right. No Goal.”

I am the mom of the teenage athletes. I am the wife of a former Rugby playing, half Ironman completing, dedicated father. I have been a college athlete and fancy myself an adult athlete. We love to win and achieve personal bests. But that is not why we are in it. That is not why we play. We do it because we love the game, the running, the yoga, the whole-hearted living of it. We love facing the edge of no-you-can’t and not-today and persevering.  It teaches you about life.

Like this. I am also a researcher and I submit my work, like all researchers, for peer-review. I collect all of my “Wide Right. No Goal” letters telling me they can’t or won’t be publishing my work. That is my fire. It is what I stand on to learn. I know my work is good- just like that team, our team- the Buffalo Bills- the Sabres- were and are amazing.

In the face of hardship, I know exactly what to do. I look at the feedback, take a deep breath, grab my bootstraps, and re-submit. I learned how to do that as a swimmer in college, running marathons and half marathons, and breathing through a yoga pose. Persevere Catherine. You’ve got this.

If you have tried at anything in your life- you have had your “Wide Right. No Goal” days. I tell my daughters and myself, “It is not the good days that define you. It how you handle the hard days- that is how you know who you are and that is how you show others who you are.”

Buffalo- we have handled our “Wide Right, No Goal” with grace and glory. Our teams were and are great. We were and are great. And Buffalo was and IS great.

I grew up all over the United States of America the daughter of a Naval officer. In 1992, I moved to Buffalo to attend graduate school. I was 27 years old with a heart full of dreams, a mechanical pencil, running shoes, and not much else. I have seen this city grow and prosper in terms of business, academics, art, culture, sports, athletics, and community. I am so proud to live here, to be an associate professor at the University at Buffalo, to be a homeowner, and to have raised my two beautiful daughters in this believe-anything-is-possible town.

So go to lululemon and stand on the “Wide Right. No Goal” entrance, dig deep in all the shared history, learning, and pride.

Now, like then, we grasp hands, set our eyes on the next game, and walk toward our future- proud of how hard we worked and how far we have come.

That is why it is there.

UPDATE -- 10/16/2014 (2 days after my first post)

There has been a rising debate about the message on the mosaic tyles. News outlets have covered the debate and there have been strong feelings expressed regarding the the message on the mosaic. 

I have learned from my yoga practice and my studies that right and wrong are complicated concepts and what makes sense to one person in a given context can make no sense at all to another person in his or her context. I have also learned that trying to be right and getting defensive can get in the way of connection and understanding. 

For some people "Wide Right" and "No Goal" are rallying cries bringing us together, in solidarity, to fire us up the for the next game. I have come to understand that for others these words feel like rubbing two of the the hardest times in our sports history into our collective faces. I have listened to my friends and read the comments and concerns. I understand why people are unhappy with the mosaic. 

It makes sense to remove the mosaic. No matter the reason it was put there in the first place, it doesn't make sense now-- and I know for a lot of people it never made sense. 

I have no doubt we will get through this. In Buffalo, so many times the hard stuff has brought us together. I think about the October Storm in 2006, it was around this time of year (October 12th and 13th). We were a city of neighbors with shovels and snow plows. My husband went up and down the street with our snow blower and a shovel. My daughters and I bundled up and went out to help. As a family, we worked with our neighbors and moved trees and tree limbs to clear the streets. It is one of my best memories. 

This is the Buffalo that I know. This is the Buffalo that I love. 

When the next snow storm comes- we will all be out there-- together-- with hot chocolate, snow blowers, and shovels. Once all is clear, we will be finding the fastest route to the powdery hills of an Ellicotville ski resort, or four wheel to Chestnut Ridge to slide down the gigantic hill, or build fabulous snowmen in our front yards, or cross country ski to one of our wonderful restaurants or bars.

When the sun shines down for another of our glorious summers we will meet at Shakespeare in the Park, go to an art or food or music festival, or do yoga by the waterfront, run the hills of Chestnut Ridge together, or hike Letchworth Park, or  journey to the eternal flame and make a wish, or read a book under a hundred-year-old tree at Delaware Park, or take our boats to the harbor, or paddle board in the calm waters on Grand Island. 

Of course, we will be there- together- cheering for our teams- hoping for and dreaming about our next championship and victory. 

I wish we could fit all of that on a mosaic- it would be beautiful. 

Catherine Cook-Cottone

The Yoga Bag

See Buffalo News for more on the story: Click for Buffalo News Story

The Truth About Eating Disorders and Yoga

The Truth About Eating Disorders and Yoga

Catherine Cook-Cottone

The Truth About Eating Disorders and Yoga: that is the title of a recent piece in Yoga Journal. I have been researching eating disorders and yoga interventions for over 10 years (see my research page here http://gse.buffalo.edu/about/directory/faculty/cook-cottone). When I read, what I believe was a well-intentioned article; I was conflicted about it. I was very happy this important topic was brought to light. However, I was also somewhat confused by the content and disheartened (read the article here http://www.yogajournal.com/article/eating-disorders/truth-yoga-eating-disorders/).

I imagined what I might think as a parent of someone who was struggling with an eating disorder or a care provider trying to decide if patients should be encouraged to do yoga or not. From this perspective, I worry that the article might have been discouraging, framing yoga as a risk for patients. Most certainly, the highlighting of a tragic story of parents finding their daughter dead, in a yoga pose, was alarming and I would guess terrifying for parents with a child who is struggling.  For weeks, I have thought about it, reflected on it, and wondered if I should write about it. Many people have commented and blogged about this article. At this point there has been no voice, among the many, representing what is known in the research. I decided to write.

I have spent years in academic study pursuing the truth about yoga and eating disorders. I am careful, cautious, and in serious study. This line of inquiry matters to me for many reasons. I hope that someday we will get close to the truth. I know that finding truth will take years, perhaps decades, and likely careers to discover.

My take on the article by Chelsea Roff (read more about Chelsea Roff here http://www.eatbreathethrive.org/chelsea-roff.html) was that her intentions were good. I have watched her journey across media channels. She most certainly is an inspiration and is doing very important work. I applaud her breakthrough effort to bring attention to the risk some practitioners bring to yoga class. Also, I think her article, critically, calls attention to the importance of watching for practitioners who are struggling. In addition, I hope her article inspires the industry to integrate screening for risk into teaching/studio guidelines, teach a protocol for intervening during our training programs, and encourage studios to have policies related to those at risk. 

The TRUTH is…

My first concern is with the title. As an academic, I am part of a group of individuals who work decade after decade in pursuit of-- what use of the scientific method guides us cautiously toward-- “the truth.” Practice guiding conclusions are made only after a foundation of theory (i.e., theory papers and qualitative studies), exploration of ideas and experiences among individuals (i.e., clinical case studies), pilot studies, controlled trials, randomized controlled trials, replication-- and eventually-- works that aggregate many studies (e.g., systematic literature reviews and meta-analyses). Even then, we speak in terms of “the evidence suggests that___,” or “current research indicates that____,” etc. The word truth holds a scared place. Years of discovery and rediscovery have taught us that, perhaps, we only get glimmers of truths and-- most certainly-- it is only together that we get close. That is, we carefully read and review the work that has been done, honor and cite those who have done the work, and base our current assessments and cautious guidance on what is known- empirically known.

A More Careful Review of the Literature

Given that context, I would argue that we do not know the truth about yoga and eating disorders. Here is what we know- right now. Please note- we don’t know that much at this point.

Early studies were correlational. That means that participants were likely given a survey that asked a lot of questions about yoga, eating disordered behaviors, eating disorder risk factors, etc. Researchers then ran the data to see what went with what. For example, did yoga correlate with lower rates of eating disordered behavior and risk factors?

In an early study, Daubenmier (2005) found this:

• Yoga practice is associated with greater awareness of and responsiveness to bodily sensations, lower self-objectification, greater body satisfaction, and fewer disordered eating attitudes.
• As predicted, yoga practitioners reported more favorably on all measures. Body responsiveness, and, to some extent, body awareness significantly explained group differences in self-objectification, body satisfaction, and disordered eating attitudes.

Some of the research that Roff referred to in her article was done by Neumark‐Sztainer and colleagues. Here are findings from a study published in 2011. This was a survey study that combined yoga and Pilates in one category and analyzed data accordingly. This information is directly from the study:

•  Among study participants, 17.6% (n = 221) of the young women and 5.2% (n = 53) of the young men reported an average of 30 min or more of yoga/Pilates per week.
• Among yoga/Pilates participants, the average time spent in yoga or Pilates was 2.0 h/week (SD = 1.4) for young women and 2.2 h/week (SD= 1.7) for young men.
• Young women who participated in yoga/Pilates were less likely to report body dissatisfaction than nonparticipants (36.1% vs. 51.4%, p < .001).
• The proportions of young women reporting unhealthy weight-control behaviors, extreme weight-control behaviors, and binge eating did not differ significantly by yoga/Pilates participation.
• Men participating in yoga/Pilates were more likely to use extreme weight control behaviors (18.6% vs. 6.8%, p=.006) and binge eating (11.6% vs. 4.2%, p=.023), and marginally more likely to use unhealthy weight control behaviors (49.1% vs. 34.5%; p=.053), than non-participants after adjusting for sociodemographics, weight status, and overall physical activity.

My team became very interested in yoga interventions and eating disorders. Note that the studies I listed above were surveys. In our review we looked at yoga used as an intervention with pre and posttests conducted to see if yoga interventions made things better, worse, or had no effect. [Survey, or correlations studies, do not assess pre and post test findings- so they can’t say if the yoga practice can help explain changes in eating disordered behavior or risk. They can only describe what seemed to go together]. 

Jessalyn Klein and I completed a systematic review and synthesis of the yoga literature. We searched databases for peer-reviewed articles about yoga practice and Eating Disorder symptoms and correlates.  Again- at this point there have been VERY FEW studies completed.

• Of the 14 articles reviewed, 40% used cross-sectional designs to examine risk and protective factors for Eating Disorders among yoga practitioners, and 60% used longitudinal designs to assess the effectiveness of yoga interventions for preventing and treating Eating Disorders.
•  Yoga practitioners were reported to be at decreased risk for Eating Disorders, and Eating Disorder risk and symptoms were reduced or unchanged after yoga interventions.
•  Conclusions: More well-controlled studies are needed to understand whether the positive effects of yoga on ED symptoms and correlates are related to the type of yoga practiced, the amount/frequency of practice, and/or other variables.
• See the article here: http://yogaclub.us/attachments/Yoga%20as%20Medicine%20-%20Effects%20of%20Yoga%20on%20Eating%20Disorders.pdf

Using Yoga Against Yourself

Perhaps, this is what was Chelsea Roff was talking about? I am very happy that her article brought attention to this often negected risk that is inherent in embodied practices. Like others before me (e.g., Dittmann, & Freedman, 2009), in my forthcoming book, “Mindfulness and Yoga for Embodied Self-Regulation: A Primer for Clinicians” (see Springer Publishing, 2015) I address this issue.

I tell the story of Mathew Sanford (2006), author of the deeply moving and inspiring book “Waking: A Memoir of Trauma and Transcendence.” Sanford articulately describes the moment he had taken his self-destructive struggle onto his yoga mat. After a traumatic injury, yoga was Sanford’s pathway to healing. However, for a while, he used this healing tool against himself. He notes, “I know the moment my yoga practice passed over into the threshold into violence” (Sanford, 2006; p. 203). Practicing with a spinal chord injury that left him paralyzed, Mathew describes pushing and straining so hard in a pose that he broke his own leg. The injury was complicated as was his recovery from it. Sanford (2006) states, “Breaking my leg was the harshest lesson that I have ever experienced in yoga. For me, nonviolence is no longer an intellectual platitude within my practice. It is an energetic fact” (p. 213).  

I believe this turning of yoga into a self-destructive act is what Chelsea Roff was describing in her tragic story of a death of one yoga practitioner, who also apparently suffered from a clinical level eating disorder. Like any other practice, yoga can be misused and turned against the self. It is this notion that I think was the spirit of Roff’s piece.

I agree that this can happen and I am concerned that yoga teachers are often not prepared to identify, assess, set limits, and refer. Yes. We need to integrate warning signs, screening tools, and how to confront and refer someone who is struggling into yoga teacher training. However, it is my belief that this is the exception and not the rule. Research to date supports this contention. That is, although some people who are already struggling with clinical levels of risk or struggle may misuse yoga as a self-destructive tool, many may benefit from the practice. It also seems that for some, depending on various factors (dosage of yoga, style, etc..), yoga may have no effects. I also believe there are factors present in some yoga communities (note- not the yoga- the community) that trigger risk. Although, this has yet to be effectively researched.

So What is the Truth about Yoga and Eating Disorders?

I don’t think we know. It may be that some people who are struggling are drawn to the practice (see Neumark‐Sztainer et al., 2011). That makes sense to me. Those who have eating disorders find challenge in the mind body connection. Yoga lives in that connection.

Overall, it looks—somewhat—cautiously-- promising. That is, there is some evidence that yoga may help. We are not sure what about the yoga practice helps, what type of practice helps, and what aspects of the practice are important to include (e.g., breath work, asana, meditation). There is—honestly-- more that we don’t know, than we know.

I have seen tremendous growth in my own life and in the lives of others manifest through the practice of yoga. I have researched a yoga intervention as a prevention tool for eating disorders. I have done pilot work using a yoga intervention as an adjunct treatment for eating disorders. I continue this work today. I want to know if it works, why it works, how it works, and how might it work best. I most certainly want to know what might cause harm, who might be at-risk in yoga class, and what might place people at risk. I have seen yoga studio cultures that promote the thin-deal, encourage fasting, and hire and maintain dangerously thin teachers. Note- as I mentioned above-  these are yoga studio variables and not yoga. As the body of research grows, it is my hope and intention that studio features and variables will be de-coupled from the 8-limb practice of yoga. And that both will be the focus of research going forward.

So, yeah- for at least right now- I don’t think we quite know the truth about yoga.

So, what can you do now?

I have a short list here for guidance. Do these things for a healthy, body positive yoga; prevention of eating disorder risk; and referral for those who are struggling:

1.  Let yoga be about yoga. The yoga scriptures do not speak about weight loss and body sculpting as a pathway to enlightenment. Teach yoga, not self-judgment. 
2. Create and maintain a body positive culture. Teach yoga that brings awareness to the body and honors the body. All shapes, sizes, abilities, ages, ranges of flexibility, and levels of strength belong—as students and teachers—we all belong.
3.  See http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders  and http://www.eatingdisorderfoundation.org/EatingDisorders.htm for signs and symptoms of eating disorders.
4.  If you see someone at risk and you do not know what to do, get help. Contact a local eating disorder specialist and ask for guidance.
5.  See http://www.eat-26.com for an eating disorder screening tool.
6. Eat well, maintain a healthy weight, and get help when you need help. A yoga teacher with an eating disorder (even if you are keeping it a secret) is creating risk in his or her community. Take a break from teaching and get help for yourself.
7.  Be careful with food cleanses, fasting, juicing, and eating guidance. Work with a nutritionist who has familiarity with eating disorder behavior. Do not guide people on topics outside of your expertise.
8.  Privately, consult with any students you believe may be at risk. If necessary, require a student who is presenting dangerous behavior or appears to be at-risk to get help before you allow them to continue to attend classes. See “How to Help Someone with an Eating Disorder” at http://anad.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/How-to-Help5.pdf
9. Follow the research. We all have access to Google scholar. Use it. National and international eating disorder organizations also provide research updates- see links ANAD, NEDA, and Something Fishy. 
10. Yoga training programs should include warning signs for mental health issues, risk assessment, guidelines for intervening, and practice in confronting struggling students safely and compassionately.

References and Additional Readings:

Dittmann, K. A., & Freedman, M. R. (2009). Body awareness, eating attitudes, and spiritual beliefs of women practicing yoga. Eating Disorders, 17(4), 273-292.

Douglass, L. (2009). Yoga as an intervention in the treatment of eating disorders: does it help?. Eating Disorders, 17(2), 126-139.

Daubenmier, J. J. (2005). The Relationship of Yoga, Body Awareness, and Body Responsiveness to Self‐Objectification and Disordered Eating. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 29(2), 207-219.

Klein, J., & Cook-Cottone, C. (2013). The Effects of Yoga on Eating Disorder Symptoms and Correlates: A Review. International journal of yoga therapy, 2(2), 41-50.

Neumark‐Sztainer, D., Eisenberg, M. E., Wall, M., & Loth, K. A. (2011). Yoga and pilates: Associations with body image and disordered‐eating behaviors in a population‐based sample of young adults. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 44(3), 276-280.

Make Yourself Uncomfortable Once a Day

Make Yourself Uncomfortable Once a Day

Even though I am a grown-up and all that, I still like to have long talks with my Dad about life. We were talking Wednesday morning about what it takes to have a good life. He told me that he makes himself uncomfortable at least once a day.

It’s funny how you can be so similar to someone in very powerful ways and not know it. I explained to my Dad that I do the same thing- and I think that makes all of the difference.

I have come to realize that what has allowed me to achieve my goals occurs in a moment. There is a moment- a critical moment- when you decide…

When I am working on something- a book, a run, a yoga posture- a moment occurs when I think, “I am done. This is hard.” It is in that moment that I tell myself, “Catherine, this is the moment when most people quit. This is the moment that separates the people who get things done from those who don’t. Truth- this is the moment that will define you as the Catherine who achieves her goals or the Catherine that wishes she had.”

I often pause here and breathe. I honor the moment for what it is- life changing.

Then, I make myself uncomfortable. When running, I go the extra mile. In yoga, I breathe five more breaths. When writing-- I persist- maybe for an hour, maybe for two.

In a week of these moments, I have anywhere from 7 to 14 hours. In a year, that is 364 to 728 hours--or what math tells me is 15 to 30, 24-hour days. Do you get that? In a year- I have given myself 2 weeks to a full month dedicated solely to my dreams.

Trust me. I take breaks and enjoy life. I eat pizza, watch movies, and kick my feet up. Yes. I do that. However, I do that after I persist. It is then- that the breaks are all the sweeter. They are not clouded by unlived dreams or lost goals. They are clear spaces of rest and restoration. They feel good- full and wholesome.

What could happen for you, if just once a day, you made yourself uncomfortable? What would you do with the minutes, breaths, or hour?

Try it. Do it.

Your dreams are worth it.

And do not worry, I promise the TV shows you are not watching are recorded by someone, somewhere. And they will be all the sweeter after you persist.

Namaste, 

Catherine 

What if I Fail? ……Worse yet, What if I am Happy?

What if I Fail? ……Worse yet, What if I am Happy?

Catherine Cook-Cottone, The Yoga Bag

“What if I fail?” For some reason, this is the question that comes to mind when I set any positive or healthy goal. I have a bias. You see, I never worry about failing at going to bed too late, drinking wine, complaining, overworking, overthinking, obsessively checking my email, or being afraid. For some reason, these things seem to hold steady like gravity, ready to manifest in my life whenever I drop my guard.

“What if I forget to stay up to late? What if I don’t have the persistence for another glass of wine?  What if I forget to be afraid?”

No, interestingly, I never worry about stuff like that.

My fear shows up in a different way. It’s sneaky and hides under the pretense of  “What if I fail?” When I am honest with myself, I know that fear-of-failure is a cover story.

Recently, I realized that there were 108 days until the New Years. In a flash, I had an idea. I have been feeling badly about losing my inertia for last year’s New Year’s resolution. In the past few months, I watched my commitment to meditate at least 5 minutes a day slowly fade away. The 108-days-to-New-Year was my chance to get it right. I asked, “How wonderful would it be to start meditating now and meditate all the way to the New Year?” I answered, “Very wonderful indeed!” So, I set a goal, put it in my countdown application on my phone, rallied people of Facebook to join me……and then the voice, “What if I fail?”

If these thoughts were a one-time-deal, it would not be so bad. Sadly, it seems that when I set my sights on any healthy goal, I fear failure almost more than I actually pursue the goal. Then, when I do fail-- I feel a deep sense of resignation, “You, see Catherine, I knew you’d fail.”

Don’t get me wrong; I have successfully completed many things. Which begs the questions, “What is going on when I commit to self care? Why fail here?”

I have heard it explained all of theses ways:

1.     You are afraid what other people might think if you fail.

2.     You think it means you are not capable if you fail.

3.     Humans hate change.

4.     Bad habits die hard.

5.     More things like that….

None of these land for me. It is not my fear of judgment, fear of change, or a habit. It is something else.

When I dig deep and shine the light, I think I am actually afraid that I WON’T FAIL. I am afraid I will accomplish the goal. I will meditate (or whatever other healthy thing I do), reap the benefits and……..be happier.

Yeah, I think I am afraid of being happy.

I know.

It’s weird.

My mom used to be afraid to be happy.

She said that once you are happy, you have something to lose. In this way, sad is sort of safe. Do you think that maybe she was on to something? Perhaps our clinging to the mediocre, the comfortable, and the mind-numbing drone of half conscious living is all probably some sophisticated protective mechanism?

You see, if I continue with this meditating thing, I run a very high risk of becoming more conscious. If I become more conscious, I run a very high risk of seeing more and more reality and feeling more and more feelings. If I see more reality and feel more feelings, I might love, really love, the people in my life. If I love the people in my life, ugh- yeah- I might be happy, really happy- and now I have a lot to lose.

So, it is way better to stay in my endless cycle of starting to meditate and quitting and starting and quitting and hating myself for quitting and starting and quitting. Yeah- that is a way better life. Super safe and sort of sad—good old trustworthy, familiar, going nowhere- sad.

Hmmmmmm? I am reminded of something that I tell my kids when I make them put on their seatbelts in the car, “Safe is more important than happy.”

Maybe- things that are true for seatbelts aren’t true for everything?

Maybe sometimes- Happy is more important than safe.

This time I am going to risk it. I am going to stick with my plan. I am going to meditate for 108 days. I am going to become more conscious. See more reality. Be more present. Feel more feelings. And Love more of the amazing people in my life with a big, conscious, open heart- even if it scares the hell out of me.

Yep, I am going to be happy, that terrifying and beautiful happy.

Watch for my smile on New Years. It will be 108 days big.

Namaste,

Catherine

The Yoga Bag