Tools for Preventing Vicarious Trauma

In the past few weeks of my travel, I have met some very wonderful people who are doing critical humanitarian work. Specifically, they work with refugees coming from the worst of conditions (i.e., war, terrorism, and more). They feel the pain of so many, everyday, all day.

We have been discussing the impact of vicarious trauma. This type of work exposes you to the trauma of others routinely. Often, you can only do your job, what your role entails-- when in truth so much more is needed. When you care, when you have a strong sense of mission- the gap between what you wish you could do to help and what is appropriate and required by your role is so big that you sometimes feel as if you might fall into it and not be able to come out. The feelings you take in everyday, you sometimes take them home, and sometimes- you feel as if they will live inside you forever. This experience can lead to burnout, yes; however it can also lead to vicarious trauma in which you begin to feel the same symptoms as those with whom you work (e.g., stress, overwhelm, hopelessness, and PTSD).

These amazing humanitarian workers (world changers by the way) often feel like there are few tools provided for, or taught to them to help them do two things:

·      Prevent the impact of vicarious trauma in the moment, and

·      Cope with vicarious trauma once it has landed in their bodies, hearts, and minds.

To help, I have created this list of tools for them (and for all of us). Please feel free to use this and share it. If you quote these tools please cite, Tools for Preventing Vicarious Trauma by Catherine Cook-Cottone (2017), The Yoga Bag, http://theyogabag.blogspot.com

Prevent Vicarious Trauma in the Moment

·      Stay aware that it is present. Know when it is happening, “What this person is saying to me right now is emotionally substantial. They are in pain. I see that. I feel that.”

·      Notice any drive to rescue them. Do you wish they were not feeling the way they feel? Now, remind yourself that feeling deeply is important and it is not up to you to decide what and when another person feels. In fact, you rescuing them from their feelings would not help them in the long run. Rather, you sitting powerfully and steady, validating their feelings, staying present and compassionate is powerful and enough.

·      Ground your feet on the floor and your hand(s) on the table or chair.

·      Imagine the emotional content moving through you and into the your notes from your pen, through your hands into the chair, or through your feet into the floor. Do not hold it in your body.

·      Breathe in a 1:2, inhale to exhale ratio. Know that the breath will help the emotions and trauma continue to move through you and ground.

·      See the bigger space, visualize all of the space around the person allowing the emotional content of the room to have a grand space to diffuse the intensity into (from Kelly Boys at http://kellyboys.org).

·      Ride the wave of the emotion. Instead of getting lost in it, imagine you are riding on the wave as it intensifies and grounds (Cook-Cottone, 2015).

·      Take short reliefs or distractions from the intensity of the experience, briefly look away or down. Allow yourself to move in and out of the depth of the moment.

·      As you speak to the person, think, “I wish this person in front of me to be free from pain and suffering.” (for some it is helpful to say a prayer).

·      Have a reminder on your desk or on your person of your “Why?”- a reminder of the reason you do what you do (a photograph, a word, etc.).

·      Take time between each client to clear your space. You might create a ritual of walking to a green/peaceful space, saying a blessing, washing your hands and putting on lotion- something to clear the space for you and the next person.  (see next step).

·      As you place your clients’ files away, imagine that you are also holding the traumas and worries in the files and storing them safely and confidentially in the file storage area (and not in your body, heart or mind). I sometimes tell my clients that is exactly what I do. “I hold these concerns and traumas in my office for you, so that you can let them go too.”

Before and After Care

·      At the end of the day ground the feelings you are struggling to allow to move through you, into a journal, a box, or something else that is a concrete, tangible holding place. Add artifacts, stories, drawings to your journal or box for safe-keeping. Close this box or journal when you are done and tie it up with a string and put it someplace contained (a closet). Allow this box or journal to hold your worries and concerns for you.

·      Balance work and rest. Balance means they have equal weight. Be honest with yourself.

·      Take your vacations and sick days. Seriously, do it!

·      Allow humor and positive emotions to be part of your life. In fact, if they are not there, seek them out for balance. Keep reminding yourself of the joy!

·      Engage in a routine of self-care Practices (see Mindful Self-Care Scale; Cook-Cottone & Guyker here- http://gse.buffalo.edu/about/directory/faculty/cook-cottone- scroll for short and long-form of the scale).

·      Do self-compassion meditations often (see Kristin Neff at http://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/)

·      Connect with people who lift you up and help you relax you while doing things not associated with work- seriously- not one bit associated with work.

·      Make sure your activities and play outside of work preserve your sense of identity outside of work. Who are you when you are not at work?  (Do you do yoga? Are you into painting? Do you have a favorite band? Do you love world music? What are your hobbies?…).

·      Use supervision (peer and hierarchical) to process your experiences.

·      Add nurturing and caring features to your workspace (paintings, comforts in the restroom [lotions], fresh water cooler, a well stocked tea break area, plants, soft music, etc.).

·      Connect with management and your team for an ongoing assessment of workload. Confront this gently, but with honesty for each other.

·      Include time to share success stories and moments when you felt your mission was lived in meetings and staff community time.

·      Provide/offer opportunities for non-counseling work (workers give workshops to others, teach yoga to clientele, do web development, keep a workplace garden, etc.).

Try all of this and I promise you will begin to feel better. Share the stuff that works. You are doing import work and we don't want to lose you to burnout, stress, or vicarious trauma. 

For more see Cook-Cottone (2015) Mindfulness and Yoga for Self-Regulation. Springer, NY.

Take good care of your self, so you can take care of others- You can’t give what you do not have.

Much love,

Catherine

The Yoga Bag

If you quote these tools please cite, Tools for Preventing Vicarious Trauma by Catherine Cook-Cottone (2017), The Yoga Bag, http://theyogabag.blogspot.com

108 Sun Salutations Prep for 2017 Yogis in Service

Preparing for Your 108 Sun Salutations

Written by Steve Procknal & Catherine Cook-Cottone

Yogis in Service, 2017

What to expect:

• A room full of happy yogis
• Between 2 and 2 and 1/2 hours of Sun Salutations
• The suns will start slow, expand to a challenging set of salutations, and then slow down at the end. 
• A lot of fun. 
• A raffle
• T-shirt sales
• Finishing card!

What to bring:

• Water bottle- bring between 20 and 40 ounces of water. You can refill at the 1/2 break
• Electrolyte drink
• Yoga mat
• Hand towel
• Mat towel
• Cash, credit card, or checks for raffle/t-shirts
• Your love of yoga!

To prepare for a 2+hour  practice/exercise (e.g., 108 Sun Sals): 

•   Just eat normally leading up to that day, maybe increase your calories a bit but nothing major. 

•   You do not need to eat some massive carb meal the night before, that will only hurt you the next day because your body will still be breaking that down and trying to eliminate it. 

•   Trying to drink excessive water leading up to that day to hydrate won't be additionally beneficial. 

•   Add a bit more fluids each day, a bit more than normal and a bit more calories/carbs and you will be fine. 

What to do the day of the Suns:

•   The day of: I would eat a nice balanced full breakfast, get fats, carbs and protein. Examples. Oatmeal and fruit. Nut butter and toast with a banana. A green smoothie. Eggs, toast and fruit. Something along the lines of that. Keep it on the lighter side. 

•   Start increasing your water a bit early on in the day. Something like 2 water bottles before noon. Have another done before 3pm.

•   Have a snack late morning. Greek Yogurt, some almonds or brasil nuts or dried fruit, or fruit. 

•   Then, the key is to eat your next meal before 1:30, whatever you normally eat for lunch that works for you.  

•   Have a small snack about an 60-90 min before 4:30 PM. Dates are great. A handful of granola. 1/2 an Avocado with a little bit of salt. Celery is a great natural electrolyte (e.g., maybe celery and a touch of hummus). 

During the Suns: 

•   During practice make sure you have a water bottle to hold enough water, either choose an electrolyte drink you always use or grab another brand, Vega products are  good. Coconut water. Water is fine for at least an hour, your body doesn't really need to get any extra calories until after an hour of strenuous exercise. So even if you brought a Date or two, an energy gel, half a banana and took that half way through you will be fine. Depending on how long you have been doing yoga you may not need anything. Our bodies become efficient when we do the same exercises and we don't need as much. 

After the Suns:

•   Post work out your most important thing is to replenish the carbs you lost, not protein. About 4 Grams carbs to every 1 Gram of protein. Or you can grab whatever makes you feel good. Get some carbs first and then add some protein. 

•   Drink plenty of fluids later and you will be fine. You can add a touch more salt to your food to replenish your salts lost. (I know this sounds serious, I am just giving you the broad facts so you can take what you need for you). 

Mostly, HAVE FUN and eat and drink enough. You can always take a break in child's pose and grab a drink at the water fountain. We will be pausing at 1/2 for drink, and bathrooms. Raffle results posted at end! 

Can't wait to see you there!

The Sun Salutation Team, 

Catherine, Kathleen, and Leslie

Yogis in Service

From Yoga, I Reach

From Yoga, I Reach

My feet.

My feet pressing firmly into my mat,

I know the smooth, the sticky, and the grit.

I know the Earth beneath me.

Pressing firmly into my past,

I know the heartache, the soul-ache, the life-ache.

From my feet, I reach. 

My legs.

I hug in from my skin, to my muscle, to my bones.

The same bones I have, in past, forgotten.

The same bones, from which I have asked too much.

The same bones I have stressed to break.

From my bones, I reach.

My belly.  

With feet grounded and legs strong,

I find the very core of me.

I pull in and up.

I lift my place of first connection to my heart.

From the place where I know things,

when I really know.

From my belly, I reach. 

My lungs.

With my lungs, I breathe 

The breath of life.

I breathe the outside in and inside out.
I am my breath.

Big belly breaths from my feet to my fingers.

From my breath, I reach.

My heart.

Dhakdak, beat. Dhakdhak, beat.

My heart carries the world through my veins

And takes me to the world.

I reach into my heart,

My place of second, and third, and fourth,

And all connections.

From my heart, I reach.

My throat.

I speak here.

I feel words both spoken and unspoken.

I feel the words that strangle me with their urgency.

I feel the words that close off my breath with regret.

Here, now, from yoga, I reach.

My voice feels free and true

Anchored to my feet, bones, belly, and heart.

From my voice. I reach.

My thoughts.

For so long, I thought they were me.

Each one, me.

This me of thoughts floated, struggled.

 Was deeply sculpted and cut by

All of the words.

From yoga, I see thoughts are not mine.

I choose the ones I want to hold.

I free the rest.

From my thoughts, I reach.

My feet.

My bones.

My belly.

My heart.

My lungs.

My voice.

My thoughts.

From yoga, I reach.

My arms extend from my core.

My eyes look upward.

Knowing what is me and what is not me.

Embracing my pains and joy, past and present.

Digging into the beauty and truth of this moment.

From yoga, I reach.

The Yoga Bag

Catherine Cook-Cottone

Let Go and Be the Soul of It All!

Let Go and Be the Soul of It All!

Catherine Cook-Cottone

The Yoga Bag

The holidays are like ringing bells.

They ring from this present moment, out into the snow, the rain, even the sunshine- depending on where you are. The bells of the holidays also ring foreword and backward into the holidays-yet-to-be and from holidays-past. In this way, the present moment, in its essence, is all places and all times.

A beautiful thought.

In this truth, the holiday bells ring in the memories of all of those we have lost. They are still here; in cookie recipes, songs, traditions, family stories, and memories. I think it is for these reasons that the holidays can be difficult, even triggering for some.

I know for me, it is the first Christmas that I will not be with my family. With the death of my mom in 2015, things have changed. Our home in Lyons Falls is no longer our gathering place, making it hard, even impossible for us all to gather. I find that each song, each baking of a cookie, each flicker of a light from the Christmas tree makes my heart happy and ache in equal measure.

Heartfelt aches, ugh, they hurt deeply. It takes presence, work, and intention to feel and process it all.

In the past few days, within the context of the abundance of love and kindness all around, I have seen and heard stories of people – well - being sort of mean to other people. 

I have a mantra I save for those moments, “hurt (or hurting) people, hurt people.” I use this mantra to bring the compassion to my heart, to steady the moment, and to be the change I want to see in the world (and I thank my yoga practice everyday for making it possible for me to actually pull that off more times than not). Sometimes I wish we could all visually see the pain in each of our hearts so we could understand the why’s. For some, the hurting can be so big that we want those holiday bells- that tug at our hearts- to just stop, “Shhhhhhh, it hurts.”

For some, in the overwhelm- we snap, we push others away, and we hurt people who we don’t know. We even hurt people we love. I know, Lord knows, this work of life is not easy. Most certainly it is not as easy as the holiday songs make it seem.

I was running with my friends this morning- after a wonderful yoga class. We reflected on what might be a worry or hard over the next few days (Thanks Michelle). We acknowledged the possibilities. Then, we each described how we wanted to fill the space of the holidays (the stuff you can actually control). We described our heartfelt intentions. We chose how we might ring this year’s holiday bells.

I remembered Rumi.

 “Wherever you stand, be the soul of that place.”

Even thought I miss my mom and my family, even though my heart literally aches to not see my brother Stephen and the rest of my family this holiday season, I can be the soul of this place—right where I stand.

I can light candles; bake cookies; cuddle; smush my nose into our dog snowball's fur and remind him how much I love him; tell Chloe, Maya, and Jerry how much I love them (way too many times); and stop to facetime my family and pause to talk to mom- cause I know if there is anyway she could stop by for a visit with any one of us, she will.

With that, the echoes of ringing bells from 2016, when they are heard decades from now, will be bells filled with the sounds and memories of presence, love, and peace—because I chose to be the soul of that place.

With much holiday love,

Catherine

The Yoga Bag

What is Holding you Back? (or Little Frog, Me, and Lots of Love and Yoga at the White House)

What is Holding you Back? 

(or Little Frog, Me, and Lots of Love and Yoga at the White House)

Catherine Cook-Cottone

The Yoga Bag

What is holding you back?

Wait.

First things first. What do you want out of this one beautiful and precious life that you have? This is your I WILL list.

Answer fully. Grab a pen and a piece of paper. Make a list.

Now. What is holding you back? This is your list of WHY NOTS. It is very important.

Answer fully. Make a list.

Now, take your WHY NOT list. Crumple it up and throw it away.

Perfect.

You are ready NOW. Take your I WILL list and begin! NOW!

When I was in my 20s, I noticed that those who were up to big, gigantic things spent more time making their dreams happen than making lists of why they couldn’t make things happen. We all have WHY NOT lists. And- you have a choice. You can walk around with your WHY NOT list as your guiding set of principles or you can lift your head and look your I WILL list right in the eyes and make things happen.

This might sound morbid, but I am not leaving this Earth with a list of WHY NOTS in my hands. Nope, like my daughter told me a few months ago, “Mom, when you die, you are going to drop the mic!” It was one of the biggest compliments I have ever received! She is 100% correct.

I had the tremendous honor to live Bucket List Dreams on Monday, March 28^th, 2016.

I was one among a group of fabulous, inspirational, fun, and full-of-love yoga teachers that taught yoga at the White House for the White House Easter Egg Roll (called WHEER). We yoga-partied for 13 hours straight. It was one of the best days of my life. And- it all happened because I took my list of WHY NOTS, crumpled it up, and said, “YES!” about 100 different times, to 100 different things, that led to that moment. 

When I think back to the stuff that has held me back, my WHY NOTS, the periods of self-sabotage and self-destruction, I know the root cause- FEAR.

My WHY NOTS represent all kinds of fear. I have been afraid that I was not good enough, funny enough, pretty enough, talented enough, smart enough, cool enough, loveable enough, kind enough, --- all of the enoughs. I could never measure up. So- the good life, the living your dreams life- that was for someone else- someone who was enough. I thought.

I found the anecdote to my WHY NOTS, self doubt, and fear. It is in the pages of one of my mother’s favorite books, Jonathan Livingston Seagull. 

“Jonathan,” he said, and these were the last word he spoke, “keep working on love.” 

Those words are my guideposts. Whenever I get in my WHY NOTS of doubt and fear, I say, “Catherine, keep working on love.” Then I look up, and I WILL myself. I will myself into the moment.  I will myself to be present. I will myself to be curious. I will myself to be in effort. And most of all, I will myself to be in the work of love.

You see, in my fears I was somewhat correct. There was a not-enough in there. There was not-enough love. 

Now! That, I could change. That was on me. And so I did. To this very day, I keep working on love which takes me to all of my I WILLS and away from all of my WHY NOTS.

I wanted the children I taught on the White House to know about love and fear and being enough. So, I taught this sequence. It is a story of a little frog Tadasana, who was afraid to love. 

Little Frog Sequence

You see there is a lake in the Adirondacks called Brantingham Lake.

There are big beautiful mountains!

- Mountain Pose

There are trees!

- Tree Pose

 And the sun shines over the lake! And it feels so good to do my morning stretches and feel the sun!

- Stretch Up Reach for the Sky
- Sun As

At the lake we like to Swim and Canoe.

- Boat Pose with Paddling
- Rock and Roll to Stand Up

There are dragon flies that hover over the water.

- Airplane- Both Sides

And frogs!

- Squat and Hop All Around

Stand up and feel your heart. Feel all of the love in there? I want you to meet Tadasana Frog. She has love in her heart too, but she is struggling to make friends because she is afraid. She is so afraid, that her love doesn’t show. No one can see it. Has anyone here ever been afraid? Raise your hands? Will you guys go with Tadasana to warrior school so she can learn how to love without fear? (Thanks Corrie for being my Tadasana).  

Let’s go! Hop like a frog to warrior frog school.

-Hop Like a Frog

We have to paddle over the lake!

-Boat and Paddle

Past the fireflies!

-Airplane Both Sides

Here we are!

Do warrior one! And say, “I am strong!”
Same other side, “I am strong!”

Do warrior one! And say, “I am brave!”
Same other side, “I am brave!”

Do warrior one! And say, “I am love!”
Same other side, “I am love!”

Breath in strong and breathe out worries.
Breathe in brave and breathe out worries.
Breathe in love and breathe out worries.

Now, Let's go with Tadasana with her big strong courageous heart and head back to the lake.

-Hop Like a Frog!


We have to paddle over the lake!

-Boat and Paddle

Past the fireflies!

-Airplane Both Sides

And let’s have a giant frog celebration! Join hands and make a tunnel!

All the graduates of Warrior School run thought the tunnel!

(And we all danced, and danced, and danced)….

So thank you Leah Cullis for organizing this wonderful day! Thank you lululemon for supporting this venture!

Thank you LOVE and I WILL for being bigger than my FEAR and my WHY NOTS.

And thank you wonderful life, I love you!


Namaste,

Catherine Cook-Cottone
The Yoga Bag

Preparing for Your 108 Sun Salutations (1/23/2016) YOGIS IN SERVICE 4th ANNUAL SUNS

Preparing for Your 108 Sun Salutations

Written by Steve Procknal & Catherine Cook-Cottone

Yogis in Service, 2016

What to expect:

• A room full of happy yogis
• Between 2 and 2 and 1/2 hours of Sun Salutations
• The suns will start slow, expand to a challenging set of salutations, and then slow down at the end. 
• A lot of fun. 
• A raffle
• T-shirt sales
• Finishing card!

What to bring:

• Water bottle- bring between 20 and 40 ounces of water. You can refill at the 1/2 break
• Electrolyte drink
• Yoga mat
• Hand towel
• Mat towel
• Cash, credit card, or checks for raffle/t-shirts
• Your love of yoga!

To prepare for a 2+hour  practice/exercise (e.g., 108 Sun Sals): 

•   Just eat normally leading up to that day, maybe increase your calories a bit but nothing major. 

•   You do not need to eat some massive carb meal the night before, that will only hurt you the next day because your body will still be breaking that down and trying to eliminate it. 

•   Trying to drink excessive water leading up to that day to hydrate won't be additionally beneficial. 

•   Add a bit more fluids each day, a bit more than normal and a bit more calories/carbs and you will be fine. 

What to do the day of the Suns:

•   The day of: I would eat a nice balanced full breakfast, get fats, carbs and protein. Examples. Oatmeal and fruit. Nut butter and toast with a banana. A green smoothie. Eggs, toast and fruit. Something along the lines of that. Keep it on the lighter side. 

•   Start increasing your water a bit early on in the day. Something like 2 water bottles before noon. Have another done before 3pm.

•   Have a snack late morning. Greek Yogurt, some almonds or brasil nuts or dried fruit, or fruit. 

•   Then, the key is to eat your next meal before 1:30, whatever you normally eat for lunch that works for you.  

•   Have a small snack about an 60-90 min before 4:30 PM. Dates are great. A handful of granola. 1/2 an Avocado with a little bit of salt. Celery is a great natural electrolyte (e.g., maybe celery and a touch of hummus). 

During the Suns: 

•   During practice make sure you have a water bottle to hold enough water, either choose an electrolyte drink you always use or grab another brand, Vega products are  good. Coconut water. Water is fine for at least an hour, your body doesn't really need to get any extra calories until after an hour of strenuous exercise. So even if you brought a Date or two, an energy gel, half a banana and took that half way through you will be fine. Depending on how long you have been doing yoga you may not need anything. Our bodies become efficient when we do the same exercises and we don't need as much. 

After the Suns:

•   Post work out your most important thing is to replenish the carbs you lost, not protein. About 4 Grams carbs to every 1 Gram of protein. Or you can grab whatever makes you feel good. Get some carbs first and then add some protein. 

•   Drink plenty of fluids later and you will be fine. You can add a touch more salt to your food to replenish your salts lost. (I know this sounds serious, I am just giving you the broad facts so you can take what you need for you). 

Mostly, HAVE FUN and eat and drink enough. You can always take a break in child's pose and grab a drink at the water fountain. We will be pausing at 1/2 for raffle, drink, and bathrooms. 

Can't wait to see you there!

The Sun Salutation Team, 

Catherine, Steve, and Candice