The Echoing Green: Yoga Practice for the Holidays

The Echoing Green: Yoga Practice for the Holidays

I am writing this the day after Thanksgiving, November 27, 2015. There are 28 days until Christmas and 34 days to the New Year. I like counting and to be sure, the years are adding up. I have noticed that somehow the passing of the years is not working like math. It isn’t a simple addition-- this year plus the next and the next. Something more than math seems to be happening.

I have been through almost 50 holiday seasons. Throughout those years, I have taken many forms- baby, toddler, child, adolescent, and college student. I have known Christmas day as an angry daughter, forgiving daughter, and humble daughter. I have held my own daughters’ hands and stroked their hair as they struggled to sleep on Christmas Eve. I have held my mother’s thin hand and read her stories during her last Christmas here on Earth.

In all these years of change, there are these echoes.

I am reminded of William Blake’s poem, “The Echoing Green.” Here is an excerpt.

The sun does arise,

And make happy the skies.

The merry bells ring

To welcome the spring.

The skylark and thrush,

The birds of the bush,

Sing louder around,

To the bells’ cheerful sound,

While our sports shall be seen

On the echoing green.

William Blake (1757-1827)   

http://www.portablepoetry.com/poems/william_blake/the_echoing_green.html

The echoing green takes the form of a holiday canvas upon which we paint our memories. Each one begins with the penciled sketching of our family, religious, and cultural traditions. There are broad, thick painted strokes of tree-decorating day, the slow carefully detailed aggregation of packages under the twinkling branches, and the painful waiting for the paint to dry and the big day to come. There are sharply scratched-in arguments as family pressures build negotiating details and tensions arise around silly stuff like shopping. There are the added accents of parties dappled with laughter and run through with tears as we embrace the people we haven’t seen and miss people we will never hold again. In this way, the memories layer like the strokes of a paintbrush or the notes in a song.

Photo from
http://www.cardsdirect.com/product/1310229/musical-christmas-tree.aspx

And so it goes, year after year this orchestral arrangement of the holidays unfolds. I watch the refrain repeat with slowly aging eyes and a wiser, more softly beating heart. I want to linger over each rich note as the song seemingly speeds by- sometimes too quick to catch.

Over the years I have found that to fully hear the echoes, I must be present.

I owe whatever presence I have to my yoga practice. I have learned how to breathe through unbearable sadness and ground my feet during overwhelming joy. I have practiced opening my heart when it wants to close and closing it when it needs to rest. I have learned to balance when the floor seems unsteady as if only on foot and to use my very core to hold what I know is good. I can stand as a warrior for what I want for my daughters and my husband. More, my warrior can take the form of a steady fighter, one with an open heart, and a warrior for peace. Because of my practice, I can face all that comes my way and still rest at the end of the day, breath and heartbeat steady. I am able to truly hear almost any song these holidays bring no matter its depth or potency.

Right now, late on this day, I welcome the echoing green of the holidays. It is layered handsomely and oh- so much more than math. If I am lucky, I will see and hear what these days hold-- the artistry of a grand painting and the brilliance of a symphony each comprised of the rich texture of what I know to be true.

My yoga practice has allowed be to hear the lesson of the echoes as they wisely repeat what matters- love, peace, and connection- Catherine- that is all you really need.

Namaste,

Catherine Cook-Cottone

The Yoga Bag

Effectively Judging “Other” Kinds of Yoga: Five Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Effectively Judging  “Other” Kinds of Yoga:

Five Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

You are reading this because, you, like me, think it is important to make sure everyone knows how to effectively judge, evaluate, and reject other types of yoga and yoga practitioners.  

Why judge? Because being judgmental, on the positive side of righteousness, and morally superior is very important to your long-term journey as a yogi. I am pretty sure that is what Patanjali meant when he described discernment in the Yoga Sutras. Further, “yoga” essentially means “union.” As the ego is 50% of the ego-and-soul union, it is important that you are sure to carefully tend and nurture the ego. You see, our culture may not sufficiently feed the development of the ego. We must do more.

To help, I have reviewed many posts that judge, evaluate, and exact moral superiority on “other” kinds of yoga. Then, I distilled what I learned into the FAQ format (i.e., frequently asked question). Once you read through this, you can write an effective, judgmental, and morally superior post of your own.

First, you are welcome!!!!

Second, Please write! My only hope is that I can see more judgmental yoga posts in my news feed on Facebook. It does so much for our community. So please, please write. 

FAQ #1

Is my type of yoga “good” enough to judge others? (or) Is my yoga, the “right” yoga?

Take a deep breath and relax. When you are judging others, it does not matter what kind of yoga you practice. No matter the nature of your practice, you can still be morally righteous. When judging yoga, there is this one rule. All kinds of yogis can judge all other kinds of yoga. Do not worry if your yoga is too Western, Eastern, hot, cold, yin, yang, vinyasa-ish, hatha-ish, restorative, fast, slow, loud, quiet, powerful, or spiritual. The focus is not on your practice. It is on how other types of yoga are wrong. Remember that.

FAQ #2

What if I don’t really practice?

Great question. Because the focus of judging is external, your own practice is irrelevant. Keep your eye on what others are doing and how you feel about it. Do not worry about your own moral, physical, relational, or spiritual development. In fact, an internal focus could get you off track and might weaken your need to judge. Keep your focus outward.

FAQ #3

What if I don’t’ have a solid sense of the research or yoga philosophy?

That is okay too. If you look up the definition of judging, you will see that it is about forming an opinion. This is good news. In order to judge another kind of yoga, you do not need to educate yourself about the type of yoga or yoga in general. You simply need to form an opinion. Once you have formed an opinion, you have all that you need to judge. In fact, if you educate yourself, you take a risk. Like looking internally or focusing on your own practice, gaining knowledge of, and familiarity with others and their yoga experiences may reduce your desire to judge. Accordingly, I advise against it.

FAQ #4

What if my judgments and moral superiority are hurtful of others?

It is interesting you ask this. If you are asking this question you might have lost focus. Judgment is about “correction” and not connection. That is, we do not judge others to feel closer to them, have empathy, or worry about hurting them. We judge others to help correct their ways. You see, we have formed an opinion and have judged them. That is all that matters. If it hurts a little, or even a lot, it is okay- because correcting them is the most important thing. Connection, relationship, loving-kindness all get in the way of judgment and moral superiority. Avoid these things.

FAQ #5

What if my judgments don’t help others change or grow?

You have so many good questions. However, like the previous question, this question shows you are off focus. As a morally superior judge, you should not be too interested in helping others grow. In fact, there is a substantial body of behavioral research that suggests that harsh judgment of others does not, in fact, help them grow. Psychologists have discovered many other factors such as warm supportive relationships, connection, collaboration, and empathy effectively support behavioral change and growth. Appropriately, judgment is not about helping others change, it is about having the right opinion. Do not get confused. It is important to stay on track.

So that is it. Do not worry about your own yoga, your own practice, your knowledge of yoga in general or of the type of yoga which you are judging, if you hurt others, or if you are helping others grow. Form an opinion, focus externally, and judge. It is the RIGHT thing to do.

There is one final note, do not worry about what your missing when you spend your mental resources, time, and emotions being upset about what the other yogis are doing. You are only missing chances to grow, connect with others, learn, and develop your own practice.

Who needs that shit? Not you.

Namaste,

Catherine Cook-Cottone,

The Yoga Bag

Image from http://www.writingwishing.com/2012/10/are-you-judging-me/

The Centripetal Force of Yoga in my Life

The Centripetal Force of Yoga in my Life

Catherine Cook-Cottone

The Yoga Bag

I have had a big year. Life has been like a giant roundabout, one of those merry-go-rounds they used have in playgrounds.

from http://www.noise-to-signal.com/2006/11/again_with_the_.html

When I was little, we’d run to the roundabout. It was like a race to see who could get to it first. I’d often wait, with one or two others, as the rest of the kids bounded on. The runners, we’d grab one of the metal bars committed to getting it spinning. Walking first, I would move into a run, digging my feet into the dry clay below, breath fast, heart beating. When the roundabout got going faster than I could run, I would grasp the bar with both hands, pushing from my feet I would jump on the roundabout to join the others. Whirling.

Two forces took hold. The first, centrifugal. It whipped us mercilessly to the outside edge. If we were going fast enough, one or two of us kids would fly off- sometimes landing on their feet, sometimes rolling across the clay causing us to stop and see if they were okay. If they weren’t, we took them to their moms. I think this is why, at some point, they decided roundabouts were too dangerous.

When we were spinning, I became the second force. The centripetal force. This is the force that pulls you back to center. I would shuffle my feet to the middle of the roundabout, the world spiraling around me. As I saw others slipping away, I would grab hands, arms, or bodies and pull them back to safety.

I would pull them back to center.

Yes. Life, this year, has been a giant roundabout. So many good and horrible things have been the force behind the feet running, digging into the clay, and getting the roundabout spinning.

I have had the honor of presenting on a panel a Kripalu as a yoga researcher. I gave the commencement speech at Amherst Central High School, an honest-to-God, bucket-list dream. I spoke at the American Psychological Association on a positive body image panel with women I have admired from afar for years. I taught yoga on the lawn of the White House at the White House Easter Egg Roll with yogis I have only read about in magazines. Bucket-list? Yes. I could barely breathe all day. I turned 50 and started a not-for-profit, Yogis in Service (YIS; http://yogisinservice.org) and was granted $15,000 from lululemon to build a yoga studio for YIS. Yep. More bucket-list dreams.

And my mom died.

Suddenly, I realized that for longer than I could stand, I had been on that roundabout barely holding myself together. I felt like the kid whose feet fell off and were dragging, shins scraping, outer thigh hitting the metal rim. I was the kid who was afraid to let go, knowing that if she does, she will hit the hard clay earth and tumble, maybe break.

I could only hold on as tight as I could. I could not feel. I could not cry. I was afraid my tears would loosen my grip. They would be party to my fall. Where was that girl? The one who shuffles herself to the middle and pulls those who are falling back to center. Where was she when I needed her most?

I found her on my yoga mat.

Through all of the centrifugal life forces, the good, the bad, and the horrifically devastating, the “I” that has grown out of years of yoga practice saw me struggling. I didn’t know she, my yoga, saw me. But she did. On my yoga mat, we caught eyes and at that moment, at that very moment, for the first time- in a long time- I believed that I might be okay. I believed that I might be able to loosen my grip and not get hurt.

As she held my eyes, yoga reached out her steady, centered hand. Our fingers touched. She reached more. I couldn’t. The other forces were pulling too hard. Our hands interlocked. I reached out my other hand and we grasped hands to forearms. I was going to be okay. My yoga, she pulled me to the center, a massive centripetal force, and held me. I exhaled. My shoulders softened. I cried.

Somewhere in a deeply grounded warrior one, I felt the roundabout slow. I moved into warrior three, my hands at my heart, in prayer. I held there, curiously noticing that I could stand on my one, earthy foot and feel strong. Slowly, I moved into warrior one, hands still at prayer.

I was in our back room. It is a beautiful room my husband built from the form of an old Florida room. It is square, lovingly detailed with intricately carved wood edging around the ceiling and a handcrafted fireplace. I had closed the French doors so the fire could create a heat to soften my practice. The air was warm and still in this room. In my warrior one, eyes closed, hands at my heart, I felt something. I can only describe it like a gentle breeze moving through and by me. Startled, I opened my eyes and looked around. Nothing. Nothing? Mom.

The Back Room, 2015

Yoga, you pulled me to center and stopped the roundabout. Then, you took me to my mom. You knew that sometimes, us kids, we need exactly that. You are my centripetal force. The gift that pulls me back to center. Before I even knew you, you were in me, embodied by the little me that made sure no one fell of the ride. Not on our watch, right yoga? Thank you for always being there. Because Lord knows, I need you.

Namaste,

Catherine Cook-Cottone

The Yoga Bag

108 Days of Meditation to the New Year- Guidelines

Here are the guidelines 108 Days of Meditation to the New Year:

          1. In the next 108 days you commit to meditating for 5 minutes or more a day (9/14/14).

          2. You can meditate in ANY WAY (e.g., sitting, walking, etc…)

          3. If you miss a day- (a) add a minute(s) to days for the rest of the week or (b) do a secret act of kindness for someone else. It will get your karma back. Rules are- you can’t tell anyone you did it- it is a secret act of kindness- solely for the good of it.

I am excited! I will send updates etc.. on Facebook. Also, will post on my blog The Yoga Bag and on the Facebook group page Meditation in the Bag.

Last, we are working on a workshop that includes cool things like yoga and mala beads….I will keep you posted!

Happy mindfulness!

Catherine

How to Meditate: 5 Simple Steps

·      (1) Find a comfortable spot. This can be seated or walking.

·      (2) Choose a timer or meditation timing app.

·      (3) Decide if you would like to meditate on the three Dharma   Seals (i.e., impermanence, suffering, and not-self) or on an object.

o   If you select meditation on an object- set your timer and begin to focus on your object (e.g., candle, breath, mantra). As you notice your attention waver, with loving-kindness, bring it back to your object.

o   If you select the Dharma Seals, set your timer and notice your thoughts. One, observe that all things arise and pass away. Two, notice that life is inevitably painful and our reaction to life’s challenges is what adds suffering to pain. Three, notice that all of your thoughts, reactions, and ruminations are not you- you are more than that. You are the sum total of your choices.

·      (4) Ultimately you will notice that two things happen: (a) there are mental events (stimuli that enter through your cognitive self- thoughts, memories, and old feelings) and sense impressions (stimuli that enter through your senses- physiological self); and (b) your brain automatically labels stimuli (mental events and sense impressions) as pleasant, neutral or unpleasant.

·      (5) You then have a choice. You can return to presence and focus on your object or the Dharma Seals- or you can continue with the rumination (i.e., thinking, sensing, judging, thinking, sensing, judging, thinking, sensing, judging---- suffering).

That is essentially it.

There are more details and methods- of course.

Meditation is an opportunity to learn your reactions, limitations, and tendencies. Knowledge is power. So, meditation is empowering. Awareness opens the door to choice and practice gives us strength. Awareness, choice, and strength lead to growth.

Happy meditation and growth : ),

Catherine Cook-Cottone

The Yoga Bag

Lesson from my vitamix

Lesson from my vitamix-

So, I was making a kale and spinach smoothy. I put all the ingredients in, blended, used that thing that goes in the center to smooth in the raspberries and make sure everything blended. 

Once I was sure it was done-I stopped and poured the smoothy into a cup. Out floated this little spinach leaf- like a little miracle- untouched. 

I thought- "You are right little spinach leaf- even when everything seems like it is against you and there is no way you can get out- let go and float- maybe even enjoy the ride. That sort of non attachment can really serve you." 

See exhibit A- that is the actual leaf.

Today, I am a leaf. 

Recovery and Yoga: Create a Physical Foundation for the Pose and Be Up to Something Bigger than Yourself

Recovery and Yoga:

Create a Physical Foundation for the Pose and

Be Up to Something Bigger than Yourself

I am in the work of recovery.

That is a loaded sentence. Just look at it- “I am in the work of recovery.”

Yes. I research it. I help others find it. Perhaps most importantly, I am in it (see blog post: http://theyogabag.blogspot.com/2014/01/when-you-are-born-broken-my-eight-stage.html).

I have found that to be recovered you must follow one of the central tenants of Baptiste Yoga:

Create a Physical Foundation for the Pose and

Be Up to Something Bigger than Yourself

Yoga is a big, giant metaphor for life. Who you are on the mat-- is who you are off the mat. Perhaps there is a small group of individuals that can keep the two distinct. Still, for most of us-- the metaphor works and works well.

Within the Baptiste Yoga tradition, teaching is centered on the principles of True North Alignment. In its essence, it is the neurological and psychological integration of the self, our center line. Read more to see the parallels with the latest neuropsychological research and theory (see Dan Siegel http://www.drdansiegel.com/home/ for example).

As we become neurologically integrated and work from the center, from our True North, we feel better and do better. According to Dr. Siegel, we manifest FACES. We become more: F = Flexible, A = Adaptive, C= Coherent, E = Energized, and S = Stable.

In Baron Baptiste’s words (see https://www.baronbaptiste.com/), the first element of True North Alignment (our new code word for neurological integration) is:

Create a Physical Foundation for the Pose and

Be Up to Something Bigger than Yourself

Follow this two step process below to use this tenant to help you maintain your recovery. Better yet, use this to prevent struggle in the first place.

STEP ONE: Create a Physical Foundation for The Pose

In my recent book, Healthy Eating in Schools (Cook-Cottone, Tribole, & Tylka, 2013), I constructed a model for understanding the “create a physical foundation of the pose” for our off-the-mat-world. To be in recovery, mental health, and solid emotional regulation, you need to be in practice of the pillars of emotional regulation:

1.     Nutrition

2.     Hydration

3.     Exercise

4.     Self-Soothing

5.     Rest

6.     If needed and then prescribed--  medications

See Chart Below:

That translates in lived-experience like this:

1. Eat nutritious meals and snacks throughout the day.
2. Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day and vary as needed for weather and exercise.
3. Exercise for 60 minutes a day- yes- 60 minutes.
4. Do one thing a day that calms you (no substances, all action). Think of cuddling with your dog or cat, taking a bath, going in the hot tub, sharing a foot massage, etc…
5. Get the sleep you need so that you wake up rested and restored (no substances for this either).
6. If you need to or have been prescribed medication—take it, like it is prescribed. Please note, that if you do numbers 1 through 5, your need for 6 might be considerably less.

STEP TWO: Be Up to Something Bigger than Yourself

This life you have been given, it is a gift. You are here for a reason. Your heart beat and precious, beautiful body are here to contribute. As you create a physical foundation for the pose (i.e., your life), you will create space for being up to something bigger than YOU!

As you practice STEP ONE, you will be fed, hydrated, physically prepared, centered, and rested. You will notice that it is time for you to re-organize your thinking to what is possible beyond YOU.

We all have stories, true and sometimes horrible stories, of what has happened and what is happening to us. Life is a challenge that way. But these things that have happened to us do not define us.

That place between stimuli and response- between what has happened to us and what we choose-

THAT IS WHERE OUR POWER LIVES.

Dig in deep there (between stimulus and response) and grab onto what you want for this one precious life of yours.

Yes- be up to something bigger than you.

Adherence to STEP ONE makes STEP TWO possible. Interestingly, STEP TWO makes STEP ONE manageable. You see, we take care of ourselves when we get it—when we get that we are of value, we are needed and important. We realize that just maybe- there is something that won't happen if we drop the ball. AH- then we realize that in order to do what we were meant to do in this world, what the world needs us to do in this world, we need STEP ONE. Yeah- YOU are that important, we need you, and for you to be you- you need to take care of you. So, it works together like that.

Zuri’s Story

Today- Zuri looked up at Miss Amanda during yoga class. Miss Amanda was asking the students as they stood in Warrior I, “What would you do, if you could do anything?”

Without pause, Zuri thought, “I want to become a yoga teacher.”

And so it will be. Our little Zuri has started her path of embodiment. She will eat, drink water, practice yoga, cuddle with Rashan, and get her rest (STEP ONE). She will study and work in school. And she will be up to something bigger than herself (STEP TWO). She wants to give these gifts she has received to other children who have it hard like she does. Yes- Zuri is up to something bigger than herself. It feels like fire in her belly. At this moment, she digs her feet into her mat, lights up her legs, draws her naval into her spine, and extends through each and every finger on her two hands- and Zuri- she feels amazing. You go Zuri.

The Process

Now it is your turn reader.  Today, begin STEP ONE- Create a Physical Foundation for The Pose (your life). It is funny. In Western culture, we say, “When I feel better, I will start taking care of myself.” Turns out, when you start taking care of yourself, YOU WILL FEEL BETTER- go figure.

After STEP ONE has been in place for 24 hours--  in a quiet moment--  ask yourself, “If I could do anything, what would I do?”

It is here, where you will find the stirrings of being up to something bigger than yourself. You will be on your way to finding your True North Alignment- your integration- your best version of YOUR SELF. You go. And as you do-- the struggles-- well, we shed them like old clothes that just don’t feel right anymore.

Namaste,

Catherine