Zuri Hears about the Violence in Nairobi, Kenya (9/21/13)-- Sutra 1.3: Then you abide in your own true nature

Zuri Hears about the Violence in Nairobi, Kenya (9/21/13)

Sutra 1.3: Then you abide in your own true nature

Zuri Hears about the Violence in Nairobi, Kenya (9/21/13)

Today, Zuri woke up to the sound of CNN on the TV downstairs. Her mom was already awake (not normal for a Saturday). She came downstairs to the sight of her mother watching CNN, tears running down her face. Her mom had a coffee mug clutched within her interlaced hands.

Zuri says, “Hey mom. What is going on?”

Sherece shakes her head, “More violence baby, more violence.”

“What happened?” she asked.

“I don’t know baby. It looks like some people shot up a mall in Nairobi. There are anywhere from 11 to 20 people killed and maybe as many as 50 injured. That is what they are saying now."

She pauses, shaking her head. "This is where our people are from, Nairobi. Your family, going way back, were coffee workers in Kenya. Your babu (grandfather) and bibi (grandmother) came here from Nairobi to find work and land here in the U.S. Babu wanted to work his own farm. Babu worked hard his whole life as a migrant farm worker *(see link below about migrant farm workers in the US).  You know bibi struggled with her mind and pombe (alcohol in Swahili). I watch this baby, and I see our faces in the faces of the Kenyans. I feel so much pain.”

Zuri felt like she knew something about Nairobi, Kenya. She remembered reading about it somewhere. “Where did I see that?” she thought. Her mom never talked about Africa or Kenya or Nairobi or her grandparents (both gone now). She felt like she had to ask as many questions as she could while her mom was open to it.

“Mama, tell me more about Nairobi. Tell me more about Kenya.”

“Ah, baby, I don’t know a lot. Babu and Bibi missed Kenya so much. Their whole life-- all of their family was there. They came to the U.S. a long time ago, before I was born. They wanted good work, land, and a nice house for our family, your Aunt Jasmine and me. I know Kenya is beautiful. There are palms as tall as buildings and elephants that live on the land. Rich people travel there now to see all of the animals in the national parks. The cities are a lot like ours. See the TV? See this violence?It happened at a mall, a lot like our malls.” Zuri’s mom went quiet and was slowly shaking her head back and forth.

“Zuri, I have a few errands to run. Will you watch out for Rashan? And don’t let Eric sleep in too late.”

Zuri’s eyes started to fill with tears. She looked down to hide them. She knew her mom was going out to drink. Ahhhh, it was still so early, not even 11:00 AM. She felt her stomach clench. “Mama, I will go with you! Please!”

“Zuri, I will be right back. It is just a few errands. And you have to watch out for Rashan. Eric is no good at that.”

Her mom set down her coffee, grabbed her car keys and her purse. As the front door shut, Zuri’s head fell into her hands and she sobbed. Her mom might not come home tonight.

After a good cry, Zuri started to settle down. She kept watching CNN and thinking, “Where did I read about Kenya?” Then, it hit her—The Yoga Bag.

I had kept some of my Africa Yoga Project (AYP) notes in the bag, folded inside one of my Baptiste books (Journey into Power, Baron Baptiste). I had taken the book to an Art of Assisting Workshop and Paige Elenson (http://www.africayogaproject.org/pages/about-us) the founder of AYP was running the workshop with Tami Schneider, owner of Cleveland Power Yoga (http://www.clevelandyoga.com/yoga-teachers/tami-schneider-owner/). 

Hearing about the powerful work AYP was doing, I had approached Paige about conducting a research project in Nairobi the summer of 2013. She said that it sounded like a good idea. I grabbed all of the material on AYP I could get my hands on, folded them inside of my book. Zuri had found these materials.

I remember the first time Zuri opened the book. She looked to the back because that is where she writes all of her most personal stuff. This is where she might find out the really interesting stuff. It's funny, that is where I write my secrets too, in the back pages. She unfolded the AYP materials and traced her finger over the magical images in wonder.

“Yes,” Zuri thought. “The Yoga Bag.”

She ran upstairs and grabbed the bag out from its new hiding place, deep in the back of her closet under her winter boots, a blanket folded around it. She unwrapped the bag, and dug in to find the book. She flipped to the back and found the AYP materials. She read about teachers, and students, ambassadors, and mentors.

She saw all of the stunning images and broad smiles. She looked right into the eyes of a girl that looked a lot like her and thought, “Some day, I will practice with you in Nairobi, Kenya. Someday, that will be me with a big beautiful smile.”

She set down the card with a photo of a strong woman doing wheel pose (see all of the amazing images on AYP page).

http://www.africayogaproject.org/pages/what-were-up-to

She laid down on her back, knees bent, the souls of her feet flat on the floor. She placed her hands near her head fingers pointed toward her feet. She in inhaled and on the exhale; she lifted up into wheel, a full gorgeous wheel. She felt her heart beating, her breath moving through her body, and she felt, for a moment, just a moment, her anxiety disappear.

She dropped out of wheel and looked for more yoga photos. She found them. Warrior one. Warrior two. She tried them. Feet grounded, arms reaching, hands open, fingertips lifting up toward the ceiling. She took deep, deep breaths. She felt energy from her grounded feet through her reaching fingers. “Ahhhh, this feels so good.” She sat down and opened the book. “Oh, there are so many poses. All the instructions are here.” She sat and smiled and felt a warmth rise in her chest.

Zuri felt like she feels when she meets a new friend. She felt hope. The sound of the TV distracted her. She tucked the book, the AYP notes, the bag, the blanket, all back into her closet. She hollered into Rashan and Eric’s room, “Get up! I am making breakfast. No sleeping all day!”

She mixed up eggs and thought about yoga, Africa, Kenya, and Nairobi. She thought about the paths people take and how powerful choices can be. Her bibi and mom faced fear with drinking. Zuri knew her path would be different. She felt her feelings full on and then found the grace in the rubble. At that moment, she said the first of many, many prayers for the people in Nairobi and one more of the million-- already said-- prayers for her mom.

I am so proud of Zuri as I watch her making breakfast for her brothers. I am so proud of her being able to negotiate all that has happened to her already on this Saturday morning. I am so happy that she has practiced her first asanas today inspired by the AYP images tucked in the back of my Baptiste book.

Good work Zuri. You are on the path toward your own true nature, toward our true nature.

The Process:

Sutra 1.3: Tada drashtuh svarupevasthanam

Interpretations:

1.     Looking at the Sanskrit of it (adapted from agorareview.ca or Agora Review):

a.     Tada = then, at a time, at the time of concentration and meditation

b.     Drashtuh = the seer’s, of the soul, the witness

c.      Sva = own

d.     Rupa = form

e.     Svarupe = in its own form, nature, essence

f.      Avasthanam = stability, resting, being in a state (stha= to stand)

2.     On that day the seer comes to dwell in his own true nature (Roach & McNally, 2005)

3.     Then man abides in his real nature (Prabhavananda & Isherwood, 1953)

Roach and McNally (2005) say that this is one of the most important days in our spiritual journey- the day we stop engaging the Big Mistake (Roach & McNally, 2005). Prabhavananda and Isherwood (1953) say that this is when an individual sees how he really is, always was, and always will be-- a free illuminated soul. Our identity is just a mask that covers the soul.

Zuri’s mom, Sherece identified with what was happening in Kenya. It is horrible. I am watching on the news channels as I write. It is terrifying and I am sending prayers to my friends in Nairobi affected by this horrific violence. Feeling this pain and the compassion for others is important. Sherece was not able to negotiate the feelings. She does not trust in her own true nature, which, truth be told, could in fact handle this very scary and hurtful experience. Rather, she becomes overwhelmed by it. She lets this violence, and many other things, take her out of her self, out of her purpose, out of her role as a parent. She lets these things take her into her addiction and away from her children.

Zuri felt her feelings. She sobbed. She cried until she felt wrung out. She, then, found herself. She found asana and breath. She dug into her being—her actual sense of being present. These practices can be like a trusted friend, always there. Overtime, we become one with them, knowing they take us deep into the seeing and the being of our existence. Early in our practice we get tiny glimpses of what is possible. As thousands of sun salutations pass through our bodies and millions of mindful breaths through our lungs, we get deeper and longer glimpses into the sense of peace, stillness, and grace that is all that is.

And from that place, all things are possible and love grows.

When a tragedy happens, all too often, I know that that darkness needs is light. In each of us is this light—the one you see in me and I see in you. I re-commit each and every time darkness falls to not let this tragedy, this act of violence obscure my light. Instead, I feed my light with practice, breath, connection, gratitude, and prayer. Like Zuri, I am on my path, and like you, we will—together—bring light to the Earth—not someday- today- September 21, 2013—today.

My love and prayers go to all of my friends, fellow yogis, and the beautiful people of Nairobi.

Peace, Peace, Peace,

Catherine

A link to information about migrant workers like Zuri’s Babu:

* 
http://life.time.com/history/bitter-harvest-life-with-americas-migrant-workers-1959/#1

For an overview of the people in Zuri's life go here:
http://theyogabag.blogspot.com/p/zuris-people-overview-of-poeple-is.html

Yoga Sutra 1.2: Pain is real, so why add suffering? (sometimes a glass of wine is just a glass of wine)

Yoga Sutra 1.2: Pain is real, so why add suffering? (sometimes a glass of wine is just a glass of wine)

Zuri sees Miss Ely at the Mall

Zuri’s Aunt Jasmine, the one who works at the bank downtown, takes Zuri to the mall a couple of times a year to buy some school clothes and have a nice dinner. It is one of Zuri’s favorite things. Her life feels so normal when she and Aunt Jasmine are walking through the stores, bags in hand, trying to decide what restaurant to go to.

Zuri and her Aunt Jasmine spent time in all of Zuri’s favorite stores. Her feet were getting tired. This afternoon she got a new pair of jeans and some really cute long sleeve shirts for fall. Zuri likes the sleeves really long so that she can pull them down over her hands when it get’s cold in school (and at home). She sneaks long looks at her aunt. She sees Aunt Jasmine’s bright smile, her beautiful skin, and her warmth. Zuri is so happy Jasmine doesn’t drink like her mom does. Zuri’s Aunt Jasmine explained to Zuri that their grandmother drank so much that she eventually became very sick and had to go live in a special place. Zuri wonders if it was rehab—like Jayla’s mom—but she is afraid to ask. She sort of doesn’t want to know.

They decide to go the Cheesecake Factory, which is super great. There is long line and they wait. It is a huge place and she starts people watching. Zuri sees Miss Ely from School, her science teacher. Miss Ely is laughing and smiling and talking to a man. It seems like she is on a date. Oh no—wine, a glass of wine. Zuri’s heart sinks. Miss Ely has a glass of wine. I see Zuri’s face drop, feel her heart drop. She looks away fast and lowers her eyes. She feels ashamed, somehow, for seeing Miss Ely drinking. Its weird but she feels like she did something wrong, like she is bad for seeing.

Their buzzer goes off. Their table is ready. Zuri can hardly breathe. Her mind is racing. She is terrified, “Oh Gosh!” They are walking right by Miss Ely.

“Zuri! Hi!” Miss Ely says as she stands up to greet Zuri.

Zuri feels shy, “Hi Miss Ely.” Long pause here…….

“Hi, I am Zuri’s Aunt Jasmine,” her aunt interjects.

“Zuri is one of my most favorite students. She is such a bright girl. She is going to do whatever she sets her mind to! It is so good to see you Zuri and so nice to meet you Jasmine.”

“You too.” Says Zuri’s Aunt Jasmine. “We won’t keep you. Enjoy your dinner.”

“Goodnight Zuri. See you in school.”

Zuri struggles to smile, head down. They are shown to their table deep into the dining room, far away from Miss Ely.

Zuri’s aunt asks her what is wrong. Zuri won’t say. She is so sad about Miss Ely and the wine. Her aunt presses, “Zuri, girl, what is it?”

Zuri explains how she feels. She says that she is so worried about her mom and that she hates alcohol. She said that she is so sad that Miss Ely is drinking too. Getting it, Zuri's aunt explains that for some people wine is okay. She says that it’s tricky, but that for some people it is perfectly okay to have a glass or two of wine. She explains that some people don’t get addicted and that they don’t struggle. She explained that alcoholism doesn’t run in some families like it does in theirs.

So, she explains, just because Zuri saw Miss Ely drinking wine, it does not mean, necessarily, that Miss Ely is an alcoholic.

At home and in bed, reading her Yoga Sutras (yes, she thinks- I WILL read this whole thing). She reads sutra 1.2 about the turning of the mind. She wonders if she was doing just what the sutra was saying at the mall when she saw Miss Ely.

She thought it through. She saw miss Ely and then her mind quickly judged what she saw. Right away, Zuri thought that what she saw was very bad. Then, her mind starting running on the ideas. Her thoughts went deeper into the implications of what she saw and how bad it was. Her mind kept turning and thinking until she got to feeling-- not just bad, but that she, she was bad.

It was like these sutras explained. And she noticed that as her aunt clarified that it was all okay, she could go back to just seeing Miss Ely and not judging and not being afraid, sad, or shamed. “Wow” Zuri thought. “There is a lot to learn here.” Sleepy, she sets down her Yoga Sturas and closes her eyes thinking good thoughts about Miss Ely.

The Process:

Sutra 1.2 Yogash chitta virtti nirodhah

Here are three of the interpretations:

1.     We become whole by stopping the turning of the mind (Roach & McNally, 2005)

2.     Yoga is the control of the thought-waves of the mind (Prabhavananda & Isherwood; 1953)

3.     Yoga is the stilling of the changing states of mind (Bryant, 2009) 

According to Roach and McNally (2005), these are the most important words in the entire Yoga Sutra. Similarly, Bryant (2009) suggests that Patanjali has nearly summarized the entire system of yoga in this sutra.

Roach and McNallly (2005) tell us that pain is real and truly does hurt us, but the turning of the mind can add to this pain.

Prabhavananda and Isherwood (1953) break it down into steps:

Step 1: Manas- receives impressions gathered by senses from the world outside of us.

Step 2: Buddhi- classifies impressions and reacts to them (e.g., This is good or bad, safe or unsafe, pleasant or unpleasant).

Step 3: Ahamkar- claims impressions (i.e., I see) and stores them as one’s own knowledge (i.e., I know).

For Zuri, this would be like this.

Step 1: I see Miss Ely drinking (the seeing).

Step 2: Drinking is bad. When my mom is drinking bad things happen. Miss Ely’s drinking is bad (the classifying).

Step 3: I know this. I am going to get stressed. Miss Ely might not show up for work. She might not be okay. I feel bad for seeing her. I am wrong for seeing her (i.e., knowing and identification).

It is the false identification (see step 3) that can add suffering to pain (Prabhavananda & Isherwood; 1953). In a similar way this process is described in the post on the Buddhist Psychological Model (see previous post).  http://theyogabag.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-buddhist-psychological-model.html

For Zuri, it could also be like this.

Step 1: I see Miss Ely drinking (the seeing).

Step 2: It may be good it may be bad. I don’t know. Some people are okay with wine. I don’t need to decide right now if this is okay or not (the classifying).

Step 3: I am just at the mall with my Aunt Jasmine. I am happy. I am getting ready to eat cheesecake. I am a little girl who saw her teacher and that is that (not-self, non-attachment).

It is not easy to stop the turnings of the mind. As Zuri, you, and I go through the Yoga Sutras we will learn lots of ways to stop the turnings of the mind. For us, Patanjali provides a path, an 8-limb path, toward self-regulation and peace of mind. Sutra 1.2 sets the stage for what is coming and there is a lot to learn.  

So sweet dreams and know that sometimes a glass of wine is just a glass of wine : )

Namaste,

Catherine

For an overview of the people in Zuri's life go here:
http://theyogabag.blogspot.com/p/zuris-people-overview-of-poeple-is.html

The Buddhist Psychological Model: Impermanence, Suffering, and Not Self

The Buddhist Psychological Model: Impermanence, Suffering, and Not Self

September 10, 2013

Zuri’s First Day of School

I saw Zuri as she walked into the beginning of eighth grade, the first day of school. She was tired. She had cried herself to sleep the night before. She had a lot on her mind as she walked toward the chaos of her school. Kids running past, people laughing, busses rolling in, someone bumped her shoulder, hard, and didn’t say sorry- he just kept moving. She has no school supplies, none at all.

She was thinking about her brother. Now it’s been four days since he’s been home. Eric is 16 and he should be in his junior year at the high school. He missed so many classes last year that he almost didn't  pass. She is worried about him getting to school. A lot of the kids that live near her drop out after 10^th grade. Eric is smart, but he’s into some hard stuff, she knows. He steals, he drinks, and he seems like he’s doing harder drugs. Ugh, she hates to think about it.

I see her later, walking out of school a big smile on her face. She has a friend on each side and they make a deal to do their homework together. She has a backpack and it is full of supplies. Turns out one of the teachers works hard all summer getting donations for kids like Zuri.  Mrs. Klein saw Zuri as she came in the front door and pulled her aside. She asked her where her school supplies were. Zuri just looked at her. Mrs. Klein discretely took Zuri to a room where she could choose the color of the backpack, the notebooks and pens, and pencils. Zuri thanked God for Mrs. Klein. Ready for school, she spent the rest of the day learning, laughing, and talking to her friends.

Mrs. Klein saw Zuri leaving school. They made eye contact and smiled. Mrs. Klein’s heart radiated that feeling, that feeling you get when things are okay.

The Process

The city schools are hard places to work. I have worked in the city, my husband works there now. The needs are overwhelming and you can feel like there is no one person you can help enough to make a difference. The Buddhist Psychological Model (Grabovac, Lau, & Willet, 2011)* gives us three tenants that can teach us how to stay present in our intention and greatness without becomming a big pile of reactions to all that surrounds us. In this way, Mrs. Klein was able to stay present and in action for Zuri.

1.     Impermanence- External experiences and our mental events (thoughts, memories, reactions) are transient. That is, they arise and they pass away.

2.     Suffering- Habitual reactions (i.e., attachment and aversion) to the transient external experiences or mental events (thoughts/feelings) can lead to suffering.

3.     Not Self- these events (internal and external) and habitual reactions to them (attachment or aversions) to not constitute anything lasting or do they comprise any part of the entity that you think of as self.

You are saying WHAT??? Does that mean??

I will explain using Mrs. Klein’s presence as an example.

1.     Impermanence: When Mrs. Klein goes to school and a student yells at or threatens her (which happens at school to the teachers no matter how much love they put out there), she knows that this too shall pass. She keeps her self safe. AND she has a sense that this is something that will pass, its transient.

2.     Suffering: Mrs. Klein has a reaction to that event- a feeling of how awful it was to be yelled at. In service of avoiding her difficult feelings, she could begin to ruminate on what happened. The ruminations would feel good. She could attach to them. Hold them in her mind. She would then be suffering. She could even identify as this experience. She then BECOMES that reaction. I AM ANGRY or I AM HURT. Do you see in the sentence structure?? I AM…. In that I AM, you become your reaction. Instead Mrs. Klein practices awareness. She says, “I feel myself hurting. I feel anger. What I experience is really uncomfortable and I feel myself in reaction.” With awareness, Mrs. Klein has choice. She can choose to be in her breath, in her full intention, in her love for the children, and her goal to bring peace and love to her school. In this way, she does not create suffering on top of the pain she has experienced. She has choice in her awareness.

3.     Not Self: As Mrs. Klein has chosen not to become her reaction (i.e., I AM MAD) or her situation (i.e., I AM A VICTIM), she has possibility. She has the freedom to be whom SHE IS- and she is an amazing young woman who brings hope, peace, and love to Zuri and many other kids like her.

We can all do this. You can choose to stay present, to see, to be in your intention. You are not your reactions or your circumstance. We ALL choose. You, me, Zuri, and Mrs. Klein. And, to be sure, Zuri and I are very, very glad that Mrs. Klein chose well.

* Grabovanc, A.D., & Lau, M., A., & Willett, B. R. (2011). Mechanisms of Mindfulness: A Buddhist Psychological Model. Mindfulness. DOI 10.1007/s12671-011-0054-5 

For an overview of the people in Zuri's life go here
http://theyogabag.blogspot.com/p/zuris-people-overview-of-poeple-is.html